Love

Today was Jacob's Open House to welcome him into my life, my family, extended family, and friends lives.  It definately was a celebration and a lot of fun had by everyone.  From my immediate family to cousins, aunts, uncles, co-workers, friends and neighbors all came to celebrate.

I was asked though what is my favorite part about motherhood.  I had no clue, I was stumped.  Later on in the day I was driving with Jacob chattering away in the back of the jeep and I was thinking about the answer to that question.  What is my favorite part?  Is it the sideways kisses he gives, is it the way I know the difference in each of his cries, is it playing trucks with him, is it being at home and seeing him change so fast; what is it?

It's learning to love. 

I've loved people before but not as a mother.  My favorite part of being a mother is that feeling that I'm bursting with happiness whenever I just look at Jacob.  That feeling of happiness that I feel deep inside when I go to get him in the morning from bed, or to hold him in my arms when he is tired and just wants to be cuddled.  That feeling I get when even though I'm frustrated I don't grit my teeth like I did with other children when I was about to pull my hair out.  That feeling like he is the best thing that ever happened to me, that feeling that even though it's 3am and I'm tired and he's crying and I don't know why all I want to do is hold him and make everything better. 

This is what my favorite part about being a mother is.

The rest of the pictures

Pictures

For my birthday this year my brother and his family gave me a gift certificate for a session with a local photographer.  I had spoke of how I liked her work before so was very excited to receive this present.  Saturday morning was picture day.  Here are just a few for now.  Paula (photographer) surprised me by saying she didn't want my gift certificate, this session was on the house and she wanted to do more pictures of Jacob and I this summer or early fall so save the certificate for then!!!!  I love nice people, oh and she also thought I was only 23!  Bless her!

budget gift

So finances have not gone smoothly since I received little man.  They never do, do they?!  Well there was some mix up with children services and such so we have been on a tight budget which I can deal with for food and such.  It is the unexpected that of course cause a little grief so I've had to get creative.  We got invited to a little girls first birthday for tonight, got the invite Sunday night.  Well the choices are to not bring a gift or to spend some precious pull-up money and hope Jacob gets potty trained soon, or make a gift.  I chose the latter of the 3.  The internet is a wonderful thing for ideas.  I found instructions on how to make a little girls dress out of a man's dress shirt.  So off to the local next to new store where I got a man's dress shirt for $2.  I used up some eyelet lace that I had and some old jean material from a quilt that I was making.  So this is the finished product.

The back of the dress shirt becomes the front of the dress and the front of the shirt becomes the back of the dress.  Then I added the jean just as accent.

Well I also thought that maybe I would have enough of the shirt leftover to also make a matching doll.  So I did, I also had enough matching jean material for the legs and arms of the doll.  Then for stuffing I took apart a cushion that I didn't like and just had never got around to throwing it out; which now gives me an idea of what to do with all those old pillows that I can never seem to part with.  Then for hair I always have tonnes of yarn because I like to knit, so I pulled out some yellow yarn for the little blond hair of the doll to match the blonde little girl.  Here is the doll! 

Happy 1st Birthday Savannah!

another brag blog

He's about to say "shoe" here.  Hence the lips and teeth looking like that.  I came downstairs and had his boots on and was at the door saying "shoe, outside?"  Clearly the boy loves to be outdoors.  Yesterday wasn't a good day for outside because it was too windy so we were somewhat housebound. 
Wow do they grow fast!  Again I'm bragging here but he is so smart!  Last week we went to my office and I had brought a few little cars for him to play with.  A few days later I had to drop by again to drop something off and he went to this mirror, (why we had a mirror in our office is beyond me?!) but behind the mirror he pulls out this little car.  He must have had it there from the time before because this day he didn't bring any toys with him because it was going to be a quick drop off.  His memory amazes me at this age. 
Today was the first time in a grocery store that there was no screaming and squealing.  He kept playing the "sshh quiet" game instead, and he initiated it so I went along with it.  Grocery stores were fun for a while.  This statement is ooozing with sarcasm.  It seemed grocery stores and other big stores are the best places to hear your voice echo and so that would get him going more and so all up and down the aisles he would be making vocalizations and giggling and I would be trying to quieten him down a bit.  I didn't mind it but small town, the looks, you know.  So instead I would get him to get things off the shelves and hold things and point out certain items, anything to distract him and it would work for short periods.  I don't give up though, I don't believe in never taking him to the grocery store because its too difficult.  He and I need to learn how to cope in those situations, so we would continue to go, almost everyday even for one or two items.  Well today there was not one bit of the squealing, he would just chatter away at a normal tone of voice and it was so much fun going grocery shopping with him. 
Everything about life is easy with him.  Oh, except potty training.  He's not into it yet, except with my mom of course.  She called bragging Saturday morning that after he had woken up and had his breakfast there she asked him if he wanted to go on the potty, to which he went running into the bathroom and you guessed it, peed on the potty.  Here, nope.  I tried the same thing, nada.  I had hoped to get him potty trained a while ago but that I came to realize is something that can't be forced and I won't.  Ah I just love him to pieces.  In the mirror we play the "that's Jacob, that's mom" game.  Today when I pointed to me and said "who's that?" he responded with "mom".  Now I know he gets it, and I'm mom.

THE PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Yes I do mean PERFECT!  So I had blogged about my grandma a few days ago and the sweater she had knit me.  The other thing that I remember perfectly about my grandma is her chocolate chip cookies.  They were the best and always something that I have been trying to find again.  I remember making them with her and she always stored them in a big round tupperware container that was actually for storing pies I think.  My mom also has one and she does the same thing. 
Well this week I found a cookie recipe that tastes so similar to hers.  I know that it isn't the same recipe but I think that it will now be my cookie recipe for good because it tastes so similar to hers.  I haven't had one of her cookies for 25 years but I still remember the taste.  So I'm not going to be stingy and keep the recipe to myself, I am going to share it.  I even took a picture of some on a plate that was my other grandmothers, I thought that it would be appropriate to have one grandma's cookies on another grandma's plate! 
So here they are THE PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE:

Preheat oven to 375 F.
Mix together the following:
1 cup butter (and yes I use butter, no margarine ever in my house, that is like liquid saran wrap!)
2 1/4 cup flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 pkg instant vanilla pudding (this is why I know it's not the same recipe as my grandma, she wouldn't have used instant anything, but for whatever reason it makes them taste like hers)
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips

Bake for 9 mins and enjoy. 

Leftovers

Before I became a mom I hated leftovers.  I would never eat them and once every couple of weeks I would go through my fridge and have to throw out all the leftovers that I had good intentions of one day eating.  Well I didn't realize though that I like cooking with leftovers.  I like to take something that was once one dish and make something totally new with it. 
Example.  Last week I made baked chicken thighs.  There were a few pieces left and I wanted to use them up.  Well I chopped up some onion and sauted it in olive oil, then added my chopped up chicken.  I chopped up the skin also and threw that in.  After the onions were at the tender stage I threw in some carrots, a can of stewed tomatoes a can of corn and a bay leaf.  I let it simmer for an hour or so and we ate it over rice.  So now I have rice and this chicken dish.  I now have added some extra chicken stock to the rice and chicken mixture and froze it but it will be soup one day when I need something in a flash to cook for the little man. 
I'm not a processed food person.  I wasn't raised on hamburger helper and such so I don't think like that when it comes to cooking.  I like to make things from scratch, or now from leftovers. 
Last night I had made roasted veggies in the oven with greek seasoning on them.  Well what to do with leftover roasted vegetables?  How about boil them until you can mash them down and then reserve just the juice for your own vegetable stock?!  Yep, that's what I did. 
Tonight on the menu is crustless pizza and my own potato chips.  Basically it is a meatloaf type of base on a pizza pan with all the toppings and you bake it like you would a pizza.  If it all turns out I'll post the recipe and pictures of it tomorrow.
ttfn!

Grandma's

This sweater was one of the last items that my grandma knit.  She passed away when I was 7.  I don't have that many memories of her left but they include making chocolate chip cookies, pierogies, teaching me to knit, and playing frisbee in the house even though grandpa said not to. 

Grandma's are precious people in a kidlet's life.  Jacob is very lucky that his grandma comes to have lunch with him everyday.  They play the tickle game; he's caught on rather quickly and as soon as he sees her he's trying to tickle.

I decided to try and make bread pudding today.  When Jacob first came to me the church members brought food for us.  Bread pudding was one of the desserts that was made for us and boy did he love it.  I don't recall ever having it.  So here is the recipe that I made tonight and it was someone's grandma recipe.  It was very good but the true critic also gave it a spoons up for goodness.

This is what it looked like before oven.

Recipe:

4 cups stale bread cubed

1/2 cup whipping cream

1/2 cup milk

3 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

cinnamon

as many raisins as the family likes

and I sprinkled on top some caramel sugar that I had from Pampered chef

Bake at 350F until it sets.

Sauce:  ****  you have to have the sauce ****

In saucepan heat 1 tbsp butter, add 2 tbsp flour, 1 cup brown sugar and 1 cup boiling water.  Heat until thickened, and drizzle, or just pour as much as you would like on the warm pudding.

Finished product.

A satisfied kidlet!!! 

You know when you see those parents and their kids are acting up and the parents are getting all stressed out and it's causing the kidlet to react and it just gets worse and worse.  Um, that was me tonight.  I thought of that on my drive home, which occurred a lot sooner than I thought it would (the drive home).   Little man started to get a little wound up and then he got going which got me going and chaos began.  I didn't lose my cool or anything; just decided it was time to go home. 
However after a bath and some new pj's thanks to a wonderul Marlene and Chris this is how the night ended.

Baptism and Amazing

I had wrote this on another site but I just wanted it here too. 

When I started this process I had secretly hoped for a little boy. I'm better with boys I thought, I have two brothers, I'm better with rough and tough instead of cutsie and girly. I knew though that like any expectant parent I would be happy and love any child that came into my life. Though to go on about my secret hope, I hoped for a little guy that was still young enough that would remember mostly me as "mom". I hoped for a little guy that was cuddly because although I'm not really affectionate with adults I love to tickle, hug and kiss little kids. I knew it wasn't a big deal but I hoped that the little one was young enough that I could name them, give them a piece of me and my family. I knew it didn't matter at the end of the day but I hoped for a little one that in some miraculous way would resemble me in some little way. I didn't care that much about the history or past but in some way I hoped for a little one that just needed to be loved and cared for forever, who needed a forever home, and a forever family, and a forever mom.




It is only God's miracle that all of my hopes, that I didn't share with anyone else, even the social workers matching he and I, came true! He is a little boy who will most likely only remember me as his mom, who loves to be tickled and will fall asleep curled up in my arms, who I got to give my great grandfathers name, who oddly enough so many people say looks like me, who just needed to be loved by a forever mom. He is the most precious gift I could have ever received from God and I will love him forever. (aah he even got me all teary eyed writing this and I'm not that type of person!)


I am getting Jacob dedicated on March 28 at my church.  We don't do baby baptismal's; instead it is a dedication service.  There is never a mention of a baby baptismal in the bible, but there is regarding dedication of children in the bible so that's what the church that I follow does.  It fits with me.  I remember discussion adult baptism with my uncle and he said you know I don't remember my baptism and I want to; it's something that is important and I feel I want to remember.  That makes total sense to me.  So anyways; I took the plunge this past October and was baptized as an adult.  I was raised Catholic but like my uncle I don't remember the first dunk so I thought I would do it again. 
Well in getting Jacob dedicated I wanted to also find a scripture reading to read to him at the dedication.  Now me and my bible don't spend enough time together but I did manage to find something after looking for awhile.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy an dpeace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" Romans 15:13

How fast they grow

When I received the memory album of Jacob it had hand and footprints in it from 3, 6, 9, and 12 months.  I wanted to start to do this again.  So yesterday I brought out the finger paints and we did his feet and hands. He was funny to get to do this because he would put his hand or finger in the paint, make one line on the paper and then want his hand washed.

I am so proud of him.  He is talking up a storm now.  Yesterday he even said "popcorn".  He is mimicking almost everything, so he will say something once and it is hit and miss if he will say it again but by him saying it once I know he can say it at least.  The cutest is when he says "roar" his voice gets deep and he will repeat it.  I have lost count of how many words he can say now, its just amazing at how fast he is picking it up. 

Last night he and I had a movie date, we got a big bowl of popcorn and watched "The Cat in the Hat" before bed.  Hence him being able to say popcorn.

I remember a friend telling me that being a parent is the greatest of everything.  It is, it is the greatest fears, disappointments, joys, excitement, happiness, love. 

Catching up to speed

This picture was after the first night on Sunday morning. He seems to really like to wedge himself into tight fits. He still does, he will crawl into my stool and be all intwined in it and thinks its so much fun.












The last couple of pictures are from a trip to see my cousin in Lloydminster yesterday. This was our first big drive since he came home. He was very quiet on the drive to Lloyd. I wondered if he was just looking at everything or if he wasn't wondering "is she taking me back now?" I don't know if he thinks like that and often people will say "you wonder what he is thinking or what is going through his little head" I do. I wonder if he wonders when this fun lady will take him back. Only time will end that thought. I tell him how much I love him all the time but I don't know if he gets it yet.
I know that he is attached to me. He has started to run up to me and hug my legs more and more and kind of kiss my legs when he does this.
This morning I loved him so much. I had a horrible sleep last night and so am not up to par today. He had a great sleep, it was me and my own worries that kept me up. He though got up with a big grin and is as happy as could be. I picked him up and was dancing with him this morning and I just love him to pieces.
Words are coming so much and so fast now. He mimics almost everything now. I asked if that was his "puppy" this morning and he mimicked "puppy". I know I'm biased but he really is such a smart little boy.

We begin

On Febuary 1st I met my son for the first time. I knew he was my son before I had meat him, like any expectant mother I loved him before I had seen him in person. You see I adopted my wee one. He is perfect and this picture was about an hour after I had met him. My introduction was very similar to many new mothers first meetings, the child is washed off and placed in your arms. Jacob had just had a bath and he was carried down the stairs and placed in my arms. Only too perfect of the first greeting.