tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70170952189277869552024-03-12T20:11:11.666-07:00the beginning of usA story about how a little boy turned a single woman into a mom.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.comBlogger100125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-10938687181242769592017-02-24T10:10:00.001-08:002017-02-24T10:10:26.305-08:00When I don't know<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Nothing I Hold on to</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I lean not on my own understanding,</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I Give it all to you God, </div>
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Trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me</div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I will climb this mountain </div>
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With my hands wide open</div>
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I will climb this mountain </div>
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With my hands wide open</div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><div style="text-align: center;">
There is nothing I hold on to</div>
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There is nothing I hold on to</div>
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There is nothing I hold on to</div>
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There is nothing I hold on to</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I came across this song a while ago and saved it to my favorites. Then one day when I was feeling like I didn't know what to do it began playing. I listened to the words and began to visualize myself climbing a mountain much like the one in the picture but with my hands wide open and going up the mountain. God has it covered. I don't need to understand I just need to have faith to have my arms wide open and climb that mountain. </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-79192547292814268252013-07-22T06:44:00.000-07:002017-02-17T08:49:33.100-08:00The Little Girl Who Didn't Like HugsI'm writing right now so that I am away and busy. Right now the littlest one is screaming at the top of her lungs and if I'm near her I get angry so I'm in a time out. This is by no means the first yelling and screaming we've had in our house in the last month or so. It happens almost every second day if not daily. Right now I have a summer cold that has lead into an eye infection and really sore throat so to add that on to it I'm just not a happy camper right now and feel like kicking yelling and screaming as well, but it doesn't seem to help the matter at all so instead I write. <br />
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I keep hearing that "she's a typical girl". I completely 1000% disagree. I never recall my parents telling me that I acted like this when I was her age. I've seen other little girls that are not as defiant as she. Each child of course is different but my number 1 rule in parenting is......What kind of adult do you want to raise? I want to be the parent of a respectful, likable, contributing adult. Right now unfortunately we are on the path of disrespectful, kick and scream, demand to get my own way road.... So I give myself time outs. Don't worry she gets her fair share too but right now I can't be around her. I don't like her so I don't want to be around her. I know, I'm a horrible parent. I'm sure people are thinking twice about me now when in the past they may have said I was a good parent. I'm honest, and right now this little girl who I'm still learning to love is driving me a little nuts. I wish that adoption was this fairy tale that the minute you see the child you are adamantly in love and bursting. I wasn't this time around. So when people ask me how it's going I was lying until a couple days ago. Now I tell the truth. It's a struggle. I'm having a hard time parenting the youngest. It isn't a combination of the two, its one that the social worker told me "is a spoiled brat who has gotten away with everything up until this point. Think of her as a strong willed horse that once you have put in their place is the best horse you could ever hope for." So one day in the future she will be my lovable little girl that people will enjoy being around and remark that she's a great kid. That's what I'm aiming for. Then there is the addition of not wanting to favor one child over the other; I've seen that and it ruins sibling relationships so that once they are adults they don't even speak to each other. </div>
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It's silent right now. She's stopped screaming. My dad asked once how long she will scream like that. Today was 1 hour and 25 mins. Another day it was an hour and a half. Other parents tell me I have to win the battle. It's not a battle. I run a dictatorship. I'm the boss and that's just the way it is. It's kind of like the God/Satan relationship. I'm not comparing myself to God by no means but everyone thinks that there is this battle going on. There isn't. God created Satan and then Satan disobeyed and he kicked Satan out and now Satan is just always ticked off. See there is no battle; I'm the one who comes out on top every time because I'm the parent. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-22801212242229218092013-06-26T18:49:00.001-07:002013-06-26T19:04:15.396-07:00We've Doubled in size!!Well I seem to have fallen down on blogging in the last year but it is busy here; and I hate to use that term but I really have no other way to describe it. I guess in the list of priorities taking the time to sit and write what we have been doing has fallen to the wayside. <br />
So in October we had CJ join us. She was 17 at the time and I remember seeing her working and she was the cashier that served us. I walked out of the store knowing that she was going to come and live with us and it was just a done deal in my mind. Sure there were the finer details to work out but it was a done deal. And it was; she's been with us since October 28. <br />
Then I contemplated adopting again since November pretty much. In February I decided I needed to get a move on it. To be real here, I heard of a few other couples wanting to adopt in the community as well and I thought that they likely were wanting a little one similar to me and then it becomes almost like a competition. Maybe this is a horrible way to look at it but that really is the reality when you are doing the matching game and having someone else decide how you become a parent to what child. Yes it is all in the Big Guy's hands but human hands are in it too and that piece scares me...<br />
So anyways I got my act together, called my references and they did their piece. Then in early April I did my portion of the paperwork. April 28th we were all done and our stuff was sent to headquarters to be entered into the system and placed on the "matching list" for the entire province.<br />
So back up to 2010. A few weeks before Jacob was placed with me his bio mom popped back in the picture and told the social worker that she was pregnant. Based on this little fact I had registered with post-adoption registry to foster or adopt any siblings. I always wondered about whether the pregnancy went to term or not. In April 2011 I called posted adoption registry to find out if they in fact had my information because I never heard anything. I assumed that maybe the pregnancy didn't work out or maybe she was a healthy person now; who knows. All I knew was that if there was ever a baby I was at the mercy of a system that I feel has so many flaws in it that I didn't have my hopes too high that I would ever get a call. I did wonder though. I wondered if it was born, if it was a boy or a girl, if it was healthy, if Jacob would ever have a sibling who was his through blood, I wondered......<br />
On May 1st I got a phone call that made me almost hyperventilate. There was a baby, and it was the baby I always wondered about. A little girl had been born on April 22, 2010. Did we want her? Ummm.......YEAH!!!! I couldn't believe it. Jacob had a sister and she was a healthy well loved little girl who had basically the same history as Jacob. June 3rd I met this little girl whom I named Deliah Rae. June 14th she came home to live with us and be loved by us forever and ever and ever. <br />
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I won't make this fairy tale too fairy-taleish and not write the truth about some of my hiccups along the way. Such as..... Did you know that siblings fight??!!!??!? I was living in a dream world thinking that they would always get a long and play happily together for 12 hours a day!! I'm lucky if they last 20 minutes playing nicely together with no tattling or fighting. I definitely got a reality check. I now know that they play best when I am peeking out my window watching them and they don't know I'm there. It's these moments that I savor. Tonight I watched with a grin how they jumped on the trampoline together, knowing that Jacob had helped her on because she's too little to get on herself. I then watched as he helped her get down and smiled as he ever so gently put her on the ground and I could hear her say "thank you Jacob."<br />
Deliah is so similar to Jacob in so many ways and so different in just as many. Both are routine kids and remind me of the routine. Both love to sleep and happily go to bed. Both are compassionate and kind. The differences however are that she is very outgoing; he not so much, she is a jabberbox and talks a mile a minute, Jacob not so much. She is super strong willed and stubborn, Jacob not so much. Both at the end of the day are my kids and I love them to pieces. <br />
After now adopting 2 kids; although both share the same mom then and now I've learned my biggest struggle with adopting. I've missed out on 2-1/2 years of Jacob's life and 3 of Deliah's. This means someone else has parented for those years and I struggle with that and now feel bad when I'm disciplining for things that were once okay and accepted things to do. This is just some "raw truth" right now and in the big scheme I've always had it in the back of my head, "you are raising an adult, what kind of adult do you want this little person to be one day?" That cold hard truth makes me follow through and take on that bad guy role every once in a while again so that my kids do have respect for rules, adults, consequences, etc.<br />
So that's us. We've doubled in size in a short year. Saturday will be one year since we moved in and I'm thinking my family is probably happy I didn't buy a five bedroom house because I'd likely fill it full with teens and kids!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-22297936929678758242012-12-31T10:57:00.000-08:002012-12-31T10:57:08.611-08:00A year in reviewWell I have been pondering this post in my head for a week or so now and have been thinking back over the year. I know that there has been a lot happen but now it is just to write it all down.<br />
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So lets start off the year. Well January, February were uneventful that I can remember. Then in March I found out that there was a possible baby boy that would need an adoptive home. I pursued that and even went all the way to Prince George, BC to find out about the baby. Amongst waiting to hear about the baby Jake and I took a travel Alberta tour. We had a great time and enjoyed ourselves. Going to Drumheller, Lethbridge, Calgary, and Banff all in a week. Thank goodness Jacob is a great traveller and didn't complain a bit about all the driving. Although I wish he did his share of it! </div>
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Then after our trip I continued to pursue adopting the little baby. It was a tad complicated; but hey is having a baby ever easy?? I ended up going to Prince George, BC to meet the baby. After a heart tugging visit I made the decision that I couldn't take this beautiful little boy away from a family that also wanted to adopt him and loved him like their own as well. So I drove home in tears but with a heart that knew I had made the right decision. In the midst of all of that I was also house shopping. I had gone on a trip to SK to visit some friends and I had spoken to my realtor and had said I was interested in a house. He had told me that at the time there was a pending offer on the house and he thought it was a done deal. On the drive to SK I prayed and I said to God, "well God if you want us to be in this house it is your doing and I know you can move mountains." 5 days later my realtor let me know that the deal fell through and you guessed it.....</div>
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God moved a mountain.<br />
So I then got over the grief of not having another little one to be a mom to by packing and getting ready to move into our own new to us home. <br />
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Jake and I drove by everyday, sometimes 3 times a day.No we weren't excited at all!! On June 29th, my dad's birthday, we moved. On June 30th I woke up at 3am so excited and unpacked a good portion of the house. Finally I could have room to have people over again!! Throughout the summer we had company all the time and BBQ's and Jake had his birthday party in our back yard; it was so much fun and I am very thankful that God blessed us and answered my prayer. </div>
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Summer was busy for us. Jake finished pre-school; we went on a road trip, we took in a few fairs, went to Fort Edmonton Park, spent some time camping, went on the Stettler train ride and just were really busy!!
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Then it was time for fall. Jake started maternelle; kindergarten for us English speaking folks. </div>
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Then we began to have someone else begin to join our family. I had met a young girl a few years ago and she was the niece of my friend. I ran into the young girl at a local grocery store where she was working. She was so pleasant and polite as a cashier. I left the store knowing she was going to come and live with us. Yep it was that definite. On October 28, 2012 CJ joined our family and moved in. Jake and I love having her and she has been fun to share our lives with. So fall was busy with school, and work. Having a kindergartner and a grade 12 student under one house is fun and interesting all at once. I truly now understand the role of a teen parent, aka chauffeur!! I feel like I'm always driving and nowhere that I want to go! It's great though and I wouldn't change our little family for all the world. <br />
Jake likes school and is speaking more and more french all the time. He's a whiz at paper airplanes and no paper is safe with him around. He took skating lessons and swimming lessons this past year; learning to do both quite well. His kindness for others amazes me all the time. Most recently his favorite person to play with is the little girl in his class that hurt her leg and has a cast, when I ask why, he tells me it's because she can't go play with everyone else. Jake's knowledge of God already amazes me all the time. I just have to share a picture of his gift to his teacher. He decided to paint a rainbow on the board and then we put a "B" on it for his teacher's name. The back of the board is really the treasure though.<br />
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I've asked Jacob if he wants to have other kids join our family and he tells me "a sister, like CJ." One day maybe....<br />
Christmas was very fun this year because we got to spoil CJ with gifts, something that I was really looking forward to. As you can tell in the picture she was completely shocked by her gift of a camera. <br />
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Jake was also very happy with his horse and transformers; the toy of the year for him. <br />
So as I reflect on this year God moved some mountains and blessed us abundantly and for that I'm thankful. So to whomever reads my blog I hope that you too step out on a limb and ask God to move a mountain for you and have the faith that He can in fact move that mountain for you if you believe and trust. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-46025787735166374462012-08-24T10:25:00.000-07:002012-08-24T10:25:26.784-07:00We've been busy.... too busy to blog even!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We've had a busy spring/summer so far, considering tomorrow is actually the first day of summer. The first week of June we helped out at my brother and sister-in-laws fundraiser for the Stollery Hospital. They raised $25,000.00!!!! That is a great thing. They did it by hosting a team roping. My brother actually has the Stollery to thank that he can still rope even! When he was 12 he was roping and got his thumb caught in a coil and it was cut off; he was rushed to the Stollery where they re-attached his thumb!!</div>
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Then the following weekend Jake and I packed up with Grandma and his cousins and headed to the city. We went to see Jake's previous foster family for a lovely supper. I wondered how Jacob would react and he saw two other kids and so was quite happy to be playing with other kids toys. It was a great visit and I'm so glad that I made the decision to have them remain in his life for yearly visits. </div>
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After the visit we went back to our hotel and played in the swimming pool for a few hours before bed.</div>
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Then the next morning we headed out to see Fort Edmonton Park. What a great place for kids. I highly recommend it as an annual place to go. There is so much to see and do there. Before we were even half way through my oldest niece was asking if we could come back again someday.</div>
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The pack at Fort Edmonton Park</div>
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Enjoying lunch; cinnamon buns; however had I known we would have just packed a lunch; next time!</div>
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Grandma being braver than I and going on the ferris wheel with Jaybird.</div>
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Madison and Grandma on the train that we rode twice.</div>
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Jake on the street car; we also rode that a few times; the kids loved it!</div>
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Then it was the end of school and Jake finished pre-school. They celebrated with a party at Westcove, a lave not to far from town that has a really good park and splash park.</div>
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The pots that Jake made for his teacher and the aide in the classroom and we kept one. Citronella plants were what we chose to plant since they keep away the mosquitos!</div>
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His class doing a song. </div>
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Jacob and his buddy from school, Brendan....who we later in the summer found out is actually related to our cousin! His mom's sister is married to my cousin!! It is a small world.</div>
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Randon being Randon!</div>
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Aunty Lisa giving all the kids a ride on the tricycle at grandpa's birthday.</div>
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Then it was July!! </div>
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Another busy month. First we went to the Lloydminster fair. This was the first time in 2 years that Jacob went to a fair so I wasn't sure if he would want to ride on many rides; I was wrong; he loved them and rode for 3 hours straight I think. Then was played out and ready to go home. </div>
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Even Aunty Lisa and Grandma got in on the fun.</div>
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Then so did Jake and I; we flew through the air. It was fun :) </div>
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We did a quick stop at Chris, Marlene, and Teagan's for their baptism. For Jacob's birthday they gave him a Spiderman costume including the web hand and mask. This is what he wore for 2 days straight before his mother said that it needed to be washed. </div>
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Teagan got baptised.</div>
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And then so did Chris!!</div>
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Then after our trip to SK we came home for Jacob's birthday party. This was the first time I did a "kid" birthday party for him and it was a hit. It was a family birthday so everyone brought their brothers and sisters for the fun. It was a beautiful sunny day so they played outside on the "new to us" play centre and went in the sprinkler. Man it is so nice to have a big back yard; there were about 13-15 kids there as well as all the parents and everyone had room to run and play.</div>
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One of his birthday cakes.</div>
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and.. the other birthday cake that was for the kid birthday party.</div>
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He's 5!!</div>
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Everyone over in the evening for his family birthday party. </div>
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another birthday blow out the candles picture. </div>
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From Uncle Casey and Aunty Lisa Jake got a dummy and a rope; and from grandma and grandpa Jake got a dummy and a rope... they clearly didn't talk before but that is quite all right because now he has two different types to practise on.</div>
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Then we went to Vermillion fair; I know I was getting faired out... This time though we went with Randon and Jaybird too.</div>
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The only ride I went on this time because I was so nauseous afterwards from the spinning!!</div>
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Then it was Jacob's actual birthday. For his birthday I decided my gift to him would be to go on the Stettler Train ride. There was room to go on his actual birthday so this is what we did. We went with my friend Jen and her kidlets, and then Randon also came with us. </div>
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I don't want to ruin the surprise so just forget that you see that the train gets robbed....</div>
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and then for giving money you get a bullet shell in return. The boys thought that this was pretty cool. </div>
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As you can tell...</div>
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and still is cool that you get a bullet shell...</div>
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The train that we rode on.</div>
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Then we had Jaybird over for a sleepover and you wouldn't believe what her request for breakfast was.... </div>
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A fish fry from the fish we had caught the day before. Who can argue with a breakfast like that outside on a nice day! So that was our breakfast!</div>
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Well that was our busy summer. After all that stuff we still had company come to see us a few times and had a few BBQ's with guests and then went camping for a week. Now summer is winding down and I'm into getting pickles done and making some jam this weekend. Jake starts school full time soon and we might be getting more company to stay with us; will keep you posted. Hope everyone that reads my blog had a great summer as well!!</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-73054917894993897422012-05-28T12:11:00.001-07:002012-05-28T12:11:51.775-07:00This isn't what I had in mind....I drove 9 hours to a place I've never been before all by myself to adopt a baby knowing in my heart that I wasn't going to. Some who read this might think, "what? why did she bother? Why did she seem so sure that she was going to get him." I never was, I'm just a good actress sometimes. You see if I told you to your face that I was going to lose would you have been supportive of me doing it? Nope. You would have thought I'm crazy. But I have to tell those who are reading this that I had to do it. I was following what I was supposed to do. I was brought into this crazy situation for a reason and it wasn't to adopt a baby but to be an advocate for a couple of people that have no one to listen to them. My challenge is to bring together some people and all have them agree what is best for this baby. And that is remaining exactly where he is, still having the ability to see his biological parents once a week and having access to see his extended family when they chose. Not with me and far away from all but one family member. Am I giving up? No, I was never really trying, just doing what people perceived I was doing. I was fighting for a baby; what people didn't realize was the different options I was fighting for. Being with me was only one of the options. I know I'm rambling and probably not making a lot of sense but the long and the short of it is that I know God didn't want me to have this baby. He just wanted to make sure I helped ease the situation a bit. And that is just fine by me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-32158269509992164392012-05-22T12:11:00.000-07:002012-05-22T12:11:27.371-07:00"mom, how can our house fit in that house....."For about a month now I have been on the hunt for a house. I've looked at 5 or 6 and didn't like the layout at all in anything in my price range. So I dropped my price range and went with something cute and cozy and everyone that sees it says that they can see me in it. Good sign I would say! <br />
So there is a house that I've always liked. I liked it years ago before it was renovated and upgraded, now it is even more cute. So a couple weeks ago I asked my realtor about it. He said that there was a deal pending on it, so...... I told him that I was very interested and if by chance the deal fell through I would be interested. He said okay but he didn't think it would. Then I prayed. I told God that the house was in his hands and if He wanted me to have the house to just let it happen. Well 6 days later I got a text. "house deal fell through, when do you want to see it?" God can move mountains! So today a verbal offer has been agreed to and the written offer is just needing to be signed. So it looks like we will be moving! When I told Jake about it his comment was the title. How are we going to move our house into the new house? How innocent. <br />
So the new house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a partial basement with laundry in it, a wood stove, a fully fenced yard and a deck going around 2 sides of the house, and....a walk in closet in the master bedroom!!!<br />
Here it is; cute and cozy and soon to be the new home of Jld and Jake, oh and Gert too!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6z3Eh9K_QhWh2PRlrib0VgZVv0Fugq9AIUgG7MXE8MMsck8dByTxW4uMHMWSl8YEpbjk2jev3kryri_kAQbh6a3MeX7WhDuYKhItoZB7zOpm3AUt1KuDxUXPVdy2Pb3xlEmNoeDwnpjgk/s1600/house.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6z3Eh9K_QhWh2PRlrib0VgZVv0Fugq9AIUgG7MXE8MMsck8dByTxW4uMHMWSl8YEpbjk2jev3kryri_kAQbh6a3MeX7WhDuYKhItoZB7zOpm3AUt1KuDxUXPVdy2Pb3xlEmNoeDwnpjgk/s320/house.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-91041403932048469052012-04-15T14:02:00.001-07:002012-04-15T14:02:59.140-07:00I can count<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
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I've started to incorporate more and more learning at home. Discussing how caterpillars, "chenille" turn into butterflies, "pappillon". What is in space, how plants grow, and numbers are just a few things. Today I started to count in English and then decided to switch over to french. Jacob counted to cinq no problem! I tested him again and yep, he knows how to count to 5 in French though, not English. Do I care? Not really, he knows how to count to Cinq!!!! The little man amazes me each and everyday. </div>
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His questions sometimes get trying, but I'd rather him asking questions that not talking or interacting with me. So I will continue to answer where the moon goes during the day, why we breathe air, why our tongues are hot, what each and every bug eats and everything else his little mind is curious about these days.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uChSpgGpVVk/T3Z004lWruI/AAAAAAAAC-o/lu-funqBYF4/s1600/IMG_1138.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" nda="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uChSpgGpVVk/T3Z004lWruI/AAAAAAAAC-o/lu-funqBYF4/s320/IMG_1138.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-16583280184307251092012-04-11T18:43:00.001-07:002012-04-11T18:43:24.405-07:00What's new????So I haven't blogged about what is currently going on in my life right now because I wasn't sure where it would lead to. On February 19th I found out that there was a baby boy that might need a loving forever home. On February 20th I went and talked to the family member that I knew about this baby. It turns out that the baby was born last June and is indeed in need of a forever home that is willing to do an open adoption. So I was in for a decision. Am I ready to start again; to be a mom to another little one needing a forever family to love him. <br />
Do I need to even answer??? I've literally been in a battle ever since I found out about the babe. Not with the family, they are in support of me adopting. I have been battling a social worker that is lazy and not willing to do her job thoroughly. Unfortunately for her she has me to deal with and I don't give up and know my rights, the bio families rights, and that little boys rights. So now I don't want to get into all the details but I did bring attention to the fact that she wasn't doing her job and now she is going to. She has to research me as a potential option and on April 26th the whole matter will be heard in court and I will find out if I will get to be a mom to another little boy.<br />
So am I scared? OF COURSE!!! I'm scared of being a mom to a baby!!! I've never thought I would actually get to adopt a baby so I've never even asked for one just so that I wouldn't face the disappointment. Am I scared that I won't be able to handle two boys on my own? Of course, am I scared about a whole bunch of other things, yep. However. I know that God brought me to this place for a reason. Last year when my relationship ended I remember saying, I just want a mulligan, a do over of this year. I felt cheated because I had been planning on adopting again, I had been planning on buying a house and then I put all my hope in the relationship and put everything on hold, only for none of it to come true. Well I kind of think God gave me a mulligan without me even trying. Here is a baby that came out of nowhere, I'm going to see the realtor on Friday and see what is on the market. So maybe I am getting that prayer of wanting a mulligan. If it is; wow!! Thanks GOD!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-46929731933390420532012-03-20T18:49:00.000-07:002012-03-20T18:49:12.891-07:00Discipline sucksI've discovered one huge benefit to being a single parent. You only worry about you being consistent and not two; because seldom are two people on the same page absolutely all of the time. <br />
I've also come to realize what sucks about being a single parent. I'm always going to be the bad guy. <br />
Today was a blow. Lately Jacob has been a little bit difficult in stores. I know most, aka all, kids go through the difficult times in the store. Today was a rough one though because he got it; I think. The big sappy puppy dog eyes makes me thinks so, with the quivering lip and tears rolling down his cheeks for added effect. <br />
We were in the store, he looked at the toys as per usual. Then it was time to leave which went okay until we got to the till. All of a sudden tears and crying and a bit of an episode. He has never been that kid that kicks and screams while rolling on the floor; THANK GOODNESS!!! No, he's just a cryer. So I bend over and calmly try negotiating. Wrong I know; but we went through this same thing last week at McDonald's when I refused to buy a toy and so I wanted to try a different approach. Almost set him up to fail because I needed him to know I meant business. He didn't stop crying. My negotiation tactic was to buy him a kinder surprise at the next store I had to go to. He didn't stop. So I paid, walked out, he followed. Continued to cry for a block and then I stopped at the store, ran in and got what I needed and came out. He crying asked if I got him a kinder surprise. I told him no, you didn't stop crying and start listening to me so you didn't get an "egg". <br />
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Reaction: Stopped crying and the look of shock, disappointment, surprise, all at once. The look I knew I'd achieved what I'd wanted. He was very quiet until we got home. He asked again and again I explained why no egg. He came in the house and instantly hid under a blanket. Out of shame? Out of anger? I'm thinking more the shame. I left him be and then in about 5-7 minutes he came out and said "sorry" in the quietest of voices. Did I achieve what I wanted? Yes. Did I feel like the biggest meanie in the world? Yes. Sometimes parenting really does suck and is wonderful all at the same time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-36015759255036332622012-02-04T17:48:00.000-08:002012-02-04T17:48:16.419-08:00It's time<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
Well 2 years have passed now since Jacob was introduced to me. Two years of so many smiles, giggles, tears, happy moments and absolute love. It's time to think about doing this again...........</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdsf2T0u8d_WEPnQNpXg0ZJsi2NtjUYCvrxORNFhyRpz7OJevQ8aszpco1KH19-9fWr3BwEVDXfu9JMmKUP78v0cxvpsbHHEmeZ_isgTlK7sDkogWZktyJECZd57Pjd0YWRPg3lEvJZidV/s1600/Our+first+picture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdsf2T0u8d_WEPnQNpXg0ZJsi2NtjUYCvrxORNFhyRpz7OJevQ8aszpco1KH19-9fWr3BwEVDXfu9JMmKUP78v0cxvpsbHHEmeZ_isgTlK7sDkogWZktyJECZd57Pjd0YWRPg3lEvJZidV/s400/Our+first+picture.JPG" width="323" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-47066788023184147652012-01-29T14:03:00.000-08:002012-01-29T14:03:44.236-08:00"I dream God"So I am making an effort to raise Jacob to know God. Someone I knew existed when I was growing up but to say I "knew" Him, I didn't. We pray before (almost) every meal, read "God's story" every night and talk about God daily. It really is a lot easier than I thought to teach him about God and to trust God. For example, he will ask, "why do we have two hands?" yep that was the question this morning. To which I can easily say, "I don't know, because God thought we needed two hands to go with our two arms." Anytime I don't have an answer it is goes back to, "because God did...." Or if he is scared of something, spaceships lately, I can tell him that God will protect him. Or about monsters not existing because God didn't make them, he made animals, trees, people, etc, but not monsters. Now I wasn't sure how much of all this was sinking in until today. The nursery school teacher told me that in response to talking about praying Jacob told her, "God talks in my sleep." So then when we got home I asked him about God, and yep, God talks to him in his dreams and tells him to not be scared. So already he is getting the concept that God will protect him when he asks for help. Now will God be around to protect him from everything, nope. That he will learn later on, that when bad things happen, God still is there to lean on in the bad; to vent to and to love us during that bad. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-15179555100611325652012-01-15T15:59:00.000-08:002012-01-15T15:59:24.674-08:00Social mediaSo I'm an anti-social media person. I'm not on flutter, myarea, or facecrack. I blog and that's even pretty seldom lately it seems. Oh and I didn't want to use the exact names so that they wouldn't automatically link to those pages. Anyhoo.... I chose to go off the crack last spring/summer because it drove me nuts to see so many status updates for the same people over and over in one day. It drove me even more nuts that I knew how many times a day they were updating their status; meaning I was on it way too much. So I went off. This was the second time I went off the crack. I had gone off a year or so ago for the summer but this time it has been over 6 months that I've been off. I will admit that I did sneak on every once in a while; maybe once a month. This time I've snuck on a few times; usually for a purpose though. I had a couple friends that were pregnant and I hadn't heard anything so I snuck on to check to see if they had posted anything. I don't have anything against these websites; more I have issues with the way they have deteriorated the meaning of relationships. You don't have to actually talk to anyone; just type. I'm resorting back to old fashioned face to face or phone; but I do still text. I don't think I will ever give up texting; I don't text and drive anymore so that is moving forward! <br />
So today the new fellow asked me if I was on facebook and I said no, so you will never guess what he did....walked away and didn't say another word to me! <br />
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Just kidding. I had you didn't I? No, he did the traditional asking for my number, then I got his from him. We are travelling together tomorrow night to our small group. <br />
So I don't know what the point of this post really was; to rant about social media, to explain and justify myself for not being on it, or to give a small update on the man situation. Whatever you think it was hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned for more.....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-33822209229155127722012-01-07T20:16:00.000-08:002012-01-07T20:16:37.634-08:00My little Man already<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This past week was my birthday. In the morning I said to Jake; "it's mom's birthday." To which he quickly said, "Happy Birthday, where we go for your birthday?" I told him that maybe on the weekend we would go for supper. He said, "No I don't think so." I asked what he wanted to do for my birthday and his response was, "Maybe flowers I think." So that is exactly what he got me. He went with Grandma and picked out each flower himself!! Best Birthday Ever!!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U1XVaXPsUjE/TwkXjN3TkqI/AAAAAAAABxU/hV3QpAZId7E/s1600/IMG041.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U1XVaXPsUjE/TwkXjN3TkqI/AAAAAAAABxU/hV3QpAZId7E/s320/IMG041.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-9030515340476274062012-01-02T20:45:00.000-08:002012-01-03T10:45:04.077-08:00The Christmas Season<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I haven't posted in forever it seems! I can't seem to find the time lately but I did take pictures so here are some to share.</div>
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Decorating our Christmas Tree. Jake was fully into it this year; he decorated from start to finish!<br />
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Next was the gingerbread house and same thing; he was right into it from start to finish!</div>
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This was his gingerbread house that he made at school and decorated there.</div>
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Had to have a bit of dancing time with Gertie.</div>
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This was the church Christmas dinner. All the kids went to the front and listened to a story. As you can tell he is really interested. However I have to say my boy knows the Christmas story from start to finish. Last year he received a sticker collage of the nativity story from some friends. This year I ordered another one and each morning we would do a sticker and he can tell you the whole story of the birth of Jesus; even who was in the barn with Jesus! I definitely recommend it rather than a chocolate advent calendar. Here is the link to the site I bought them from. <a href="http://muralmosaic.com/giftshop/nativity.html">http://muralmosaic.com/giftshop/nativity.html</a></div>
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This was at the Christmas church dinner. I love this picture of him and I.</div>
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This is he and Savannah. Savannah and Jacob have seen each other almost every day since May 2010. I watched Savannah when her mom went back to work and then they now go to the same sitters. They are really good little buddies and it is so cute to see them play and chatter away to each other. This year I started to begin a new tradition. Jacob gets flowers for all the ladies in his life. So on December 23rd we went to the flower shop and picked out flowers for everyone. He picked them all out himself and he got bouquets for Savannah and her mom; his girl cousins, his aunts, and grandma. I did this because I want him to learn that boys/men do special things for girls/women.</div>
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More story.</div>
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This is his school Christmas concert. He was a shephard.</div>
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Christmas Eve; opening PJ's.</div>
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<span style="color: black; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">Christmas morning. As you can tell the Jammies fit and he got a pedal tractor.<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8OtK1S3IN34/TwKIIunzfRI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/b9B9KJwUX0U/s1600/IMG_0667.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8OtK1S3IN34/TwKIIunzfRI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/b9B9KJwUX0U/s400/IMG_0667.JPG" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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Stocking time!</div>
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Grandpa had to help him with some of the toys.</div>
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Madison in the coveralls we got her and the sweater I knit her. This year I knit all the kids sweaters. Kind of a Christmas tradition for me to make them something and I am usually working on the gifts right up until it's almost time to open presents. I as per usual was wrapping them Christmas morning. I tell myself I work better under pressure but really I'm just a procrastinator.</div>
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Randon in his sweater.</div>
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Jaybird in her pretty pink dress and she had sparkle hightop runners that just happened to be in the same color; it was too cute!</div>
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The siblings. </div>
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The bird I cooked. First time I have done Christmas dinner. I actually brined the bird for 2 days prior. My family tends to like things the same and nothing out of the ordinary so I didn't tell them I did this until they had all eaten some of it and the result was no one could tell the difference!</div>
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Uncle Casey and Randon pondering......</div>
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Uncle Casey wrestling with Aunty Lisa and the kids getting in on the fun!</div>
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Randon climbing in for some fun. See Jay in her shoes!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-262177570306218052011-12-13T05:58:00.000-08:002011-12-13T05:58:12.481-08:00He Does ExistSo I believe in God. Have always believed that God exists. I don't know why I have always had that belief but I have. To believe in nothing is a foreign concept to me. Having a relationship with God though is different than just believing that there's some big guy out there. I've had a relationship with God since I was 22 I can honestly say. It is like any relationship with a human, sometimes there are periods when you are really close and then there are times when you are distant. Like any relationship there are struggles. This past year was definitely a struggle. I was down right angry and defiant. I was mad at God. Mad that whenever I think things are about to turn out the rug is pulled out from under me. I knew though that I didn't like being in this place with God. I didn't like being mad at him. I didn't like feeling like I had to still love him and be obedient, I wanted to love him and be obedient. The fact that I didn't wasn't the issue, the fact that I wanted to and couldn't was my struggle. So I did the one thing that I have always known I should do and haven't. I started tithing. Now by tithing I'll explain. I've started to give more money yes, but I've also found myself praying more for other people, doing acts of kindness for others, giving in all of my other areas of my life, not just money. Now to explain the money thing because this is what I think most people struggle with the idea of it I'll explain. God says in the bible to test him; give him what is his (10%) and he will bless you tenfold. Well the first week I joked with my cousin, "I'm going to buy me a husband". I wanted God to bless me tenfold in the area of a husband. However I did actually journal that I would take whatever blessing he felt I needed whether it be: my friend being cured of breast cancer who had recently been diagnosed, my brother and sister-in-law expecting again, my dad finding a job, or a man being put in front of me. Whatever it would be I would gladly accept the blessing. So I gave and waited. <br />
Well a week or so later my friend went back to the doctor to see what treatment options she should undergo. How about pills.....why? Because she is cancer free and the pills are a precaution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How's that for a blessing!<br />
So I continued to tithe. Each week feeling more and more blessed and excited to give because in turn I was excited to see what would happen.<br />
So about the time I started tithing though a single man started coming to our church. He always sat on the other side of the church with people I know but don't really know that well. So this past Saturday night my friend encouraged me to introduce myself. I didn't feel it was the time. So I prayed that night and got my money ready to give. I prayed to God that if I was to meet this man could he just make it blatantly obvious to me; could he just circumvent the circumstance so that we would meet. So I go to church that morning and am singing away and who sits smack down right in front of me?! I almost burst out laughing. Okay God I get it. I will introduce myself. My friends husband leaned over and asked me, "been praying much?" to which I happily answered, "yep". So at the end of service I introduced myself to the man and had a brief chat. I'm turning it over to God to lead the relationship. You see this past summer my pastor asked me, "Jody do you believe that God can give you a Christian husband?" I said, "Do I believe that God is going to plunk a man down in front of me in church and say 'here you go' Nope." Well I don't know if this is the man that I will marry but what if it is. That would be an AMAZING testimony that GOD DOES EXIST. <br />
So if you read my blog and don't believe I hope that my little story makes you at least wonder if he is real and wonder how he could also bless you. My biggest blessing to receive would be that everyone I know, knows God like I do because honestly the reason why I can be happy most of the time and see the positive is because I believe that God does exist.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-3998499425400004102011-12-04T06:43:00.001-08:002011-12-04T07:07:06.180-08:00Joe and Mary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I recently seem to have friends that have friends that are going through a separation and then of course the next step is divorce. Should it be? Not in my mind, the next step should be working together to figure how you get back what you had to want to be married to each other in the first place.<br />
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I don't believe that divorce should be as easy as it is. People buy a car and make a commitment to make payments for a number of years and there are some people that are more committed to making the payments on that vehicle than they are to work on a marriage. </div>
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A while ago I met an elderly couple through my work. I'm going to call them Joe and Mary. Joe and Marry have been married for a number of years. Mary now has Alzheimer's. Joe looks after all of Mary's needs. She no longer has dementia, the precursor to Alzheimer's where she's forgetful and sometimes miserable. Now she is at the stage where she has regressed to the point of being an infant now. Total care. She is in a wheel chair, she no longer communicates through words but instead grunts every once in awhile. </div>
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The first time I met them I met them in an office. Joe drove up in an old Chev single cab truck. From the back he got Mary's wheelchair, he carefully carried her out of the truck and into the wheelchair. He came into the office, making sure he told her everything they were doing and ensuring he didn't get her feet knocked around on any doors or corners. When they were in the meeting room she made some sound and Joe quickly rubbed her arm and said, "It's okay love we won't be long." </div>
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When we were done meeting he just as carefully wheeled her out and just as carefully lifted her into the truck again.</div>
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This week I went to their home to meet again. They live in an ancient farm house that was very drafty so they both were wearing layers of clothing and a hat. Mary was dressed in her Sunday best it looked like. Again he talked to her just as lovingly and when she reached out for his hand he took it and caressed the top of her hand while we talked. </div>
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Now this couple makes me smile with a tear in my eye. The love that Joe has for Mary when Mary is no longer Mary and really Mary can no longer reciprocate the love that Joe has for her. To love a person this much is what I think marriage is about. For Better or Worse. This is definitely the worst and Joe is in the worse and through that time he still loves Mary. </div>
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I want this type of marriage. The type where when the worst comes we know we will still love each other and get through it. </div>
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I have another story similar but different to this one and maybe another time I will share it. So for anyone that reads this blog and is married, when you think your marriage is at it's worst, is it as bad and Joe and Mary's and what are you going to do about it?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9-m-67TSVspdeSceTLChaEMNcE5gfTljQcgBs_p7Tz4-vowUWc9eMQLB3plkX30CksG6hP6HAfolIdinXZksMFQaUkzJmawxMnMgFMUbcQ1p5tEIwD_GcG7YDIPKSrzGwypkgOQlkP3DZ/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9-m-67TSVspdeSceTLChaEMNcE5gfTljQcgBs_p7Tz4-vowUWc9eMQLB3plkX30CksG6hP6HAfolIdinXZksMFQaUkzJmawxMnMgFMUbcQ1p5tEIwD_GcG7YDIPKSrzGwypkgOQlkP3DZ/s400/untitled.png" width="400" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-12741461151403359442011-11-23T16:28:00.001-08:002011-11-23T16:35:19.068-08:00I'm still little Right?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is Jacob's first school picture. He really is usually not that great at taking pictures, he usually hides, does the jello and disappears. I call the jello move that move when you try and pick a kid up and they turn into jello and you can't get a grip on them they just keep sliding out of your hands. That's Jacob when the camera comes out. Well, when my camera comes out anyways. So I think this picture turned out quite well!<br />
Almost daily I hear the comment, "Boy he's sure getting big." Then a little voice "I'm still little?" Yes Jacob your still little, your my little boy. I think he's starting to get a complex about being big because he hears it so often, so much so that I want to tell people, STOP SAYING THAT! I want him to stay little forever. <br />
This past weekend I saw my nephew who is definitely little, he's just 20lbs or so and 2-1/2yrs old. He was wearing the coat that Jacob had when I got him. It made me think, awe you were once that little. Your still little, little enough for me to rock you when I sing to you before bed. Little enough for me to hold you while we are singing at church, and little enough to give me hugs and kisses whenever we say goodbye. I hope you always stay little.<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-88243280212683000572011-11-01T07:04:00.000-07:002011-11-01T07:04:59.757-07:00Halloween fun and a few crafts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Jacob and I did finally carve a pumpkin the day before Halloween. Now I'm thinking that this really isn't that bad of an idea because then it isn't all wilted and looking deformed for Halloween. As you can see he did help to pull out "the guts" as he called them. What you don't see is that he did it with a little tiny shovel so he didn't actually touch any of the gross guts!<br />
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Our finished project. Now you may wonder why the pumpkin is sitting on the toilet. Well you see there is a candle in the pumpkin and the bathroom was the dsarkest room however with a camera flash you can't tell that so it just looks like we take all of our pictures in the bathroom instead!</div>
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Halloween right before trick or treating! So I struggled with the idea of trick or treating last year and what to do about it. I ended up deciding we would only go to our neighbors, whom we know, and then friends. We end up going to 8 houses in town and then to my uncle's in the country and my brother's. He still received plenty of candy and got the jist of trick or treating.<br />
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He's started to make some crafts in school; here is his noodle man!<br />
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And the painted turkey!</div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-83440238612039273682011-10-22T20:13:00.000-07:002011-10-22T20:13:19.600-07:00HolidayI am going on a holiday! I haven't really been on that many holidays. About 7 or so years ago I went to Vegas; then 2 years ago I went to Mexico, and that's about the extent of my holidays. My boss told me about a holiday her daughter went on. She went to a spa resort by herself for a weekend and had a really great time. I looked into it and I decided it was something I wanted to do. So in early January I'm going to the Kingfisher Spa and Resort in Comox, BC. I'm looking so forward to it! I chose there because it's only 3 nights, 4 days. Affordable in some ways in that I wanted to spend under $1000 and I probably will spend just over that. I wanted to do something that I could just relax. If I want to sleep until noon I can. I thought the time was enough because then I'm not gone for too long from Jacob. He will stay with my parents. I've been away for this amount of time before and he did okay. I picked the time of year because it's somewhat of a birthday present to myself and it is also considered off season so quite a bit cheaper than other times of the year. For the first time in my life I feel stressed and so I think this will be a good stress reliever.<br />
Stress is a funny thing. I'm just tired all the time. I could go to sleep at 8pm, wake up in the morning and still be tired. This has been my life the last few weeks. I can't pinpoint any one thing its just a collaboration of things. I'm trying to weed out some of the stress, slowly, or do things that alleviate my stress. Tonight Jacob and I had a laughing war. That is definitely a remedy I recommend. Here's a picture of him during the war. I don't know who won but I know Gertie sure got all worked up and into the fun as well.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU7R6dIaDzEPQRrqqwu6EDtZxSxBOeBaU8PoMz6T6_ze1mpm7k4quc4PQzMy2eEL97vFosLDnlBInI4EwoDXJiNyP78ANPktn4SQtTd4N0BGhSksnvKIt6ZVbm60XZiQwtNI7QSQ-hTJf2/s1600/100_0539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU7R6dIaDzEPQRrqqwu6EDtZxSxBOeBaU8PoMz6T6_ze1mpm7k4quc4PQzMy2eEL97vFosLDnlBInI4EwoDXJiNyP78ANPktn4SQtTd4N0BGhSksnvKIt6ZVbm60XZiQwtNI7QSQ-hTJf2/s320/100_0539.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-68333765808700411182011-10-16T08:23:00.000-07:002011-10-16T08:23:29.121-07:00A few pictures......<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyv-muMW9Fh-xc6Bt8sm4-oObRfLmniRiGz31s1m7_voELHOk86Kqr8LkW2Q1RMmc6go4hC-ZVp3bmN5DcOi6MoHosyZHlY5lEiqpsercJCd3kvpwzQ6hmKPUyWQZcbej4_GsYjCNBDGyQ/s1600/100_0524.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyv-muMW9Fh-xc6Bt8sm4-oObRfLmniRiGz31s1m7_voELHOk86Kqr8LkW2Q1RMmc6go4hC-ZVp3bmN5DcOi6MoHosyZHlY5lEiqpsercJCd3kvpwzQ6hmKPUyWQZcbej4_GsYjCNBDGyQ/s320/100_0524.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
This was Jacob's first day of pre-school. We're working on smiling for the camera! This is a work in progress.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuwrETqMMQHFnIUp-r8lDaoVVh_blxMOkF6qCVIZUlv9pwBM4_IgWlb6wADW44rqBhsq1Ys_Y2F7L4JxpXzChTXVWb_LX0OGsdjWPl2SHqo2Ax5fFq6AoYmrCIhuwVj5VLTeWeTQWSDbKm/s1600/100_0527.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuwrETqMMQHFnIUp-r8lDaoVVh_blxMOkF6qCVIZUlv9pwBM4_IgWlb6wADW44rqBhsq1Ys_Y2F7L4JxpXzChTXVWb_LX0OGsdjWPl2SHqo2Ax5fFq6AoYmrCIhuwVj5VLTeWeTQWSDbKm/s320/100_0527.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Annual picture at our favorite fishing; even though we caught 0 fish there this year! The spot is still beautiful.</div>
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Goofing around!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-20278500379443005272011-10-14T16:40:00.000-07:002011-10-14T16:40:26.765-07:00reverse disability/reverse discriminationI've been in the human services field for awhile now. Long enough to know that there is a concept of reverse disability/reverse discrimination. I probably need to explain what I mean when I use these two terms because I don't think that they are known to most people. Basically it means that because someone has a disability their treatment is overcompensated to the point that they are treated better than someone who doesn't have a disability. So to explain further. Have you ever been hit up to donate so that someone with a disability can go on a trip? I have; I've never donated. No one has ever given me a donation so that I could travel. Or, what about a person with a disability given allowances for rude behaviour? I've seen that too. Having a disability does not excuse bad manners; Temple Grandin actually said that! I heard her with my own ears at a conference one time. She was the best speaker I had ever listened to. She basically said that the reason why she is successful in her life is because her mom had the same expectations for her as she did for her other children. That Temple would have manners, go to school, get a job, and be a contributing member to society. I completely agree. If you make excuses for a person with a disability not to have the same expectations you have for yourself you really are discriminating against them and saying, "well your special so we don't expect as much from you." Really?! Maybe people don't intend that but when you break it down that is exactly what it is saying. Now don't get me wrong I know that not everyone is able to have a full time job and live on their own and etc, but they can have the same responsibilities I have to the best of their ability. One area that I see quite often the ideology of reverse disability is when support people attempt to do "everything". Do you not believe that they are capable of doing anything? Just yesterday I met someone who had a less than great relationship with their parents. The supports wanted me to come in and take this person's legal rights away so that the relationship with the parents would change. This person knew that they didn't like how the relationship was and they knew what they could do about it but in their own words they said they didn't want to "go down that road". So then I told them that my rule in life is that you can complain about something for only so long but then you either have to do something about it or stop complaining. I'm sure the people around the table thought "how could you say that to this poor disabled person". Well they are a person first and they have responsibilities too and in this case the responsibility is to stand up for yourself or choose to continue to be treated like crap. Your choice, and me taking away your rights will not fix that. The people around this person I think are being discriminating to them because they don't think that the person has any responsibility in the situation and so therefore are treating them differently. This I think is so wrong. So that's my beef for the week. Next time I promise to blog about Jacob and about our little family, the original intention of this blog. But I hope today's reading makes you think, do I treat people differently if they have a disability?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-67903701618093950982011-10-02T12:22:00.000-07:002011-10-02T12:22:21.864-07:00I've wondered how many people look at me and think that I'm very career focused based on where I've been and what I've done. The truth is actually that I would walk away from my career and all the accomplishments in a heartbeat to be a full time mom/wife. I do appreciate where I am now don't get me wrong but it isn't where I really want to be; it's where I am. I find myself at another spot when I have a choice of staying where I am or pursuing a goal and going for the gusto in regards to my career. I wasn't actually going to even apply for the position. It is a management position within our department and there are only 5 in the entire province so to hold this position really is quite a feat and I acknowledge that. I have to say though that if I were to read the ad for this position and then read an ad for the position of a wife and mother I would much rather apply for the latter position. Not so right now though. Funny; this is the first time I've been in a relationship where I've made it blatantly clear that my goal is not to work forever or even for the next 10 years with my significant other right now. When I discussed applying for this position with him he said, "well do whatever it is you want to do." To which I responded, "I don't want to be working is what I would like to do but that isn't a choice I have right now so I work because I have to." So I'm pretty sure he gets the picture that I don't want to be a working mom forever. Now of course I am going to be negotiable about this factor. My biggest hesitation of the whole "moving up the ladder" issue really is that you get used to a financial comfort level and, I don't mean to brag here but no matter how I say it is going to come out bad, I make darn good money for a woman in this community. This has definitely allowed me some level of comfort, as well I've been able to pay some bills down much quicker than I would have had I stayed in other positions. Lord help those that are reading this because I know I'm rambling and jumping topics. My jeep is going to be paid of in January and then my aim is for a few things; one buy a quad for Jacob and I, and two pay off my student loans ASAP. I will then be debt free. Yes I will save for a down payment on a house but I keep thinking that's a silly thing to do simply because I'm going to get married and he has a house. NO we are not engaged, but I know we will end up married. So for me to buy a house and then have to turn around and sell it doesn't make sense. Plus anything that I really like has been on the market for so long that I would be scared about the re-sale of it in a year or two when I was ready to sell it. So I guess I need to just put money away anyways for savings for whatever; oh I know, maybe a wedding! Okay, back to the job. I did apply and I have an interview Tuesday morning. I'm not worried and actually I don't even think I will be successful but there may be two positions available. This is going to be confusing so bare with me. Whenever there is a management position available they offer 2-6 month secondment positions and then at the end of the year the position goes to open competition and you apply for the job permanently. SO right now there is one 6 month position available. I don't think that I have a big chance in getting it, but we'll see. I do know that I'm a bit bored in my current position and I have been looking for other opportunities and challenges so this may be my answer. In all honesty I actually hope that I get the second position, not the first. I'm trying to finish my degree and I'm 2 courses away, currently in one so if I buckled down I could finish by the time I was able to do the position and so I don't think I'd be as stressed. Then there is also my personal life. I feel like a juggler sometimes. I wish we could have 28hr days. In the fall I'm on the road a lot; every fall it seems like this. Then I'm doing schoolwork, Jacob has BG club one night a week; I'd like to be part of an adult bible study because I've done it in the past, oh, and the poor man in my life; I told him he's my Saturday night guy so if he's busy on a Saturday night we don't see each other but every few weeks. Oh how I wish I had a nanny! Not because I want someone else to parent Jacob but because I would like for him to be in his own home more and my house cleaned! Because somehow I still need to get laundry done; dishes washed and vacuuming done in the week as well. Hence the reason I rarely ever blog anymore. I told a close friend that I would gladly walk away from my career to be a stay at home mom. He told me that I'd be bored. To which I said, if I was bored, I'd sit on a board! You can still be involved and make a difference to the community without working in it. That's what I'd do. Aaah, if I could just find that wand to make my life how I would like it to be. Until then I will work and do the best job I can at it and if that includes continuing to move up the ladder, I'm ready to take the next step. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-50211330186206926662011-09-24T07:40:00.000-07:002011-09-24T07:40:46.233-07:00Valuable informationThis past week I attended my annual conference for work. One of the topics was end of life care decisions. Now this is a topic that comes up quite frequently in my work. We are dealing with aging people and so you need to make that decision. Often I try to be proactive and start the process before there is a crisis because then everyone already is aware of what the plan is. I've learned more and more about what happens at the end of a persons life and how death occurs. Some interesting stats for you to take in is that on average 90% of people wish to die at home; of this stat only 42% actually do. Most people spend 80% of their life health dollars in the last 2 weeks of their life. SO if in your life the health care you used was $100,000. In the last 2 weeks you would have used up $80,000. So why does this happen. Well people don't want to die so they try to remain alive as long as possible even when the only sure result is death. The doctor that was presenting putting it very well. "we can't make you undead if you are going to die eventually". It's a fact of life that everyone is going to die. He acknowledged that the medical field does a very poor job of explaining what happens at the end of life so this has created a fallacy that you can be "healed" from death. We all know that's not true though. SO what has caused the biggest fallacy??? You probably are going to think I'm cracked when you read it but it is CPR!! CPR was discovered in the 60's and it's intention was to be used when a healthy person went into cardiac or respiratory failure for unknown causes; ie, they had no other health issues at the time. So what are the stats of CPR; oh and these are stats from Edmonton done in 97-2007. If a healthy person with no other presenting health related issues has CPR performed the likelihood that they will resume normal life afterwards is 19%. 19%!!!!! That's not how it is in the movies and on tv?????? That's right. So what about the other people; well 12% will end up with some resulting health issues from the CPR being performed, this could be a trachea, brain damage, punctured lungs and fractured ribs are inevitable, and possibly other internal organ failures and damage. Then of course there is the other group that ends up with so many resulting health issues that they end up living in a long term care facility. And of course the last category, you end up dead. So what if you are sick or terminal and you want CPR performed to save your life. 0% that you will return to your previous life. Some may be resuscitated and live a few more hours but like said before if you are death's door there isn't any way of making you undead. I wonder if people really realize this. When discussing end of life with some people they want "everything" done. However everything being done isn't going to cure you if you have a terminal illness or if you are just plain old and it is your time! You won't go into cardiac arrest, die, have CPR done and revived and come back 63 when you are really 84! So why would I post something as uncomfortable as this. Because I think people should have the information. This way they can discuss it with their loved ones and when the time comes everyone can feel comfortable that they are doing what you would want. For me that is NO CPR! I'm comfortable with dying; I know where I'm going to go and my affairs are all in order. Now there is a difference though, do I want to die. Nope, but I do know that one day the time will come and that day will be okay. This is what the dr said most people struggle with. They don't want to die and aren't ready and so therefore want the dr's to do "everything" to save them. However the dr's aren't going to be able to make you ready to die and more comfortable with dying that is something each person has to do on there own. So think about what I've written, talk to your doctor and your loved ones. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7017095218927786955.post-4068996696992600872011-09-10T19:07:00.000-07:002011-09-10T19:07:25.117-07:00Time Stop: no wait go faster; no stop.......Jacob starts pre-school on Monday! I thought I was ready for it until now all of a sudden I realize how fast he is growing and how quickly time is going by. Life is funny because on one aspect I so want life to slow right down and savor each moment. I love being around Jacob; don't get me wrong there are times when I like to be alone. However whenever I'm off work early or can spend time with him I choose to rather than being alone. I was alone for a long time and I've had enough of it. I want to be with my son. I enjoy being with him and spending any and all free time with him. Yet still I wish I had more time. Do other parents feel like this? Over September long weekend I was away from him for 2 nights; this is the first time I can remember being away from him just because, not because I had something else to do. So for one whole day I sat at home by myself. I can't say that I really enjoyed it that much and maybe that's why when I can be with him I want him around me. I have no problems just he and doing something together and not having another adults company; he's great company.<br />
So pre-school. Jacob is going to school 4 afternoons a week and taking the bus one way. He seems so little but so big all at the same time. He's starting to be quite the little independent man; wanting to do more and more for himself, by himself. The latest thing is he will ask me what something is and then tell me I'm wrong and what it actually is. Example; he's watching Land Before Time right now and they showed the sun up close so it's a ball of fire. He asks what that is and I explain it's the sun and the sun is a ball of fire; his response, "no, that's just fire, not the sun." I've started to just ask him back what things are instead and see what he figures out. And tease.... he loves teasing and will say to me, "I'm just teasing you" with a big grin on his face. STOP! I want all of this time to just stand still and savor it. So I'm trying to be more and more thankful for the right now and not try to rush tomorrow. In other parts of my life I'm totally trying to speed things up. Work has changed and I'm not sure that I'm supposed to be there anymore so I've started exploring a bit but once you get accustomed to a certain pay grid and position it is a bit difficult to go down. I feel a wee bit trapped in this little town because I don't know what I could do or where I could go. I want time to speed up simply because my plan is to finish my degree, get my master's and open up my own counselling practise. Specializing in working with folks with cognitive difficulties. I really enjoy people with limited cognitive functioning and finding a counsellor for them is really difficult, so really it's an untapped market. So hurry time. Then of course there's the never ending saga of my love life. I wish sometimes I could wake up 8 years down the road to children bouncing on my bed and my husband groggily asking if I'm going to make coffee. Then of course reality sinks in and I think, "what if in 8 years I'm still not any closer to being Mrs....." So this one I'm at a toss up, hurry up or enjoy right now. I think I want time to hurry up in that department because I want to be at a different place in life but then I wonder if life will be that much different. Maybe I won't be my own boss as a counsellor, maybe there won't be a bunch of kids and only a 12 year old, and how do I feel about all that. I should be very happy and feel blessed I know but I wonder if I feel that way. I've always had the "dream" of what life would be like "when". Then I've started realizing life is right now. This is it. DO I wish it were going faster or do I slow down and enjoy it right now and what I have right now. I am a dreamer, have always been that way but sometimes I do wish I could turn the dreams off and appreciate the moment more right now. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214226305720650952noreply@blogger.com1