ramblings of a blogger

I finally broke down and got Jacob's hair cut.  My brother's told me that I was a cruel mom for not getting it cut short in the summer so I did it.  Now thinking back about it though I should ask Cory if he is going to get his girl's hair cut short too?!

Saturday I got to see Jen and her baby.  We have been friends since we were 10 and best friends since we were 14.  It's been a long, good haul as friends.  We've both had our moments and there was a time that I wasn't sure that we would rekindle our friendship but that's the funny thing about motherhood, you realize who is important in your life and you hold on to them.  Jen and I actually became mom's only 20 days apart.  She was pregnant when I found out about being matched with Jacob.  It's been a neat experience to become mom's together.  I can share stories about what to expect at a 2 year old level and she can tell me all about the baby phase.  It was great to see her and spend some time together. 

On Sunday we met up with Jacob's first foster mom and family.  I thought it was a great visit and day.  I knew that one day we would meet and in my books the sooner the better.   It was great to see the other children interacting with Jacob and reminiscing about the baby they knew and fill me in on him as a baby.  I'm hoping it is the first of many visits.

Today I experimented with making tortillas.  I got a recipe off of the http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/.  It seemed easy enough and it totally was.  I am never buying tortilla's again, only having homemade ones.  There is such a difference in the texture and taste.  Plus I know what I am putting into my mouth with homemade food, so that is always a perk in my books.  I realized at supper tonight that I eat a lot of homemade/home grown food.  For example on the menu tonight was Mexican tortilla's of course!  So homemade tortilla bread, home raised beef from my mom and dad for the ground beef.  The lettuce was grown in my garden, and the salsa I made.  The only things that weren't produced by me and my family was the cheese and sour cream, and by goshy golly (seemed like a moment that those words fit) if I had a dairy cow I might have made that too! 

I love cooking and baking and am really hoping that when I do dreadfully return to work I will still find the time to do it all.  I know I will, I love doing it too much and think that it's too important to eat good whole foods rather than processed so I will, I'll just have to organize myself a bit.

Well that's enough ramblings for tonight.

Canada Day

A few weeks ago I wrote about how my youngest brother bought my old horse back.  Well that lead to me trying to rope again.  Something that I used to do on a regular basis until I sold my horse. 
So this Monday I went to practise.  I caught quite a few, I think I missed 3 out of 12 actually, pretty good for not doing it for 11 years!  Tuesday I practised again.  Casey then convinced me that I should enter the Canada Day roping at a local arena. 
So what happens is you pick one partner and then your name is thrown into the draw and you get two more partners, so for every 1 entry you actually get a chance with 3 guys.  So I entered twice, once with Casey and once with my dad.  Then I drew 4 other people, so I went a total of 6 times. 
Now to understand how roping is you have to know that there are numbers involved, like a golfing handicap everyone is given a number.  They go from 1-10, 1 being a beginner, 10 being perfect.  I'm a 3.  I've roped but not a consistent roper, plus I haven't done it for 11 years.  Okay there is another part to this day, Walt Woodward was there.  He is a 10, perfect!  He's an NFR champion several times, so we're talking one of the best of the best.  He was there because for the 2 days previously he had been teaching a roping school.  Guess who was one of the partners I drew?!  Yep, Walt Woodward.  http://waltwoodard.net/lessons/  Here's his link just in case you are actually interested in who he is.  In the world of team roping he's famous, an icon, legend, yes I'm in awe of him. 
Now one would think that I would be really nervous about getting to rope with such a legend.  I wasn't.  I said to myself before I backed into the corner (rope talk) "he's just another person who knows how to rope well, just go out and catch, no pressure."  Yes I talk to myself sometimes. 
So I nodded my head, went out and roped the steer and Walt came around and roped, and he only caught one leg!  The goal is to catch the back two legs.  Can you imagine?!  My perfect 10 isn't as perfect as I thought.  It was really good though, good for my confidence because really I was the weaker of the two in our team and I wasn't the one who screwed up.  Now I know no one is truly perfect but I was still somewhat shocked.  Anyways we went on to rope two more steers, and those two he roped in perfect Walt style, two feet really fast.  We made it back to the short-go, (more rope talk) and then I was the weaker one, I missed.  Had I not missed we would have most likely placed, and won money.  However I missed, I guess that's why I'm a number 3, not a 10. 
It was still a really great day though.  I won the ladies high point, to which I got a really nice watch that is engraved "Ladies Highpoint 2010".  And I got to rope with a world champion!~  A pretty good day overall.

How many is too many?

The time is quickly approaching that Jacob will legally be mine.  I know people are thinking "what I thought he was already yours?".  In my heart he is and he isn't going anywhere but legally, no he still is a ward of the province.  There is technically a 6 month trial period from the time you bring the child home and then after the 6 months is up the legal process begins and then you legally adopt the child.  So August is actually the end of our 6 months but the social worker surprised me on the last visit and said if I was okay with it she was going to start the process the end of June-beginning of July instead of waiting.  I was absolutely okay with this.
So this brings me to the start of the topic heading.  After he is legally mine I can then start the process to adopt again.  I would have to go through all of the same paperwork I did before and interviews and such then I would be put on the list to wait for a child again. 
So...... I'm doing it.  I'm going back on the list as soon as I'm able to.  Okay so this is my question though.  I don't have a number.  Most mothers/women tend to have an idea even a vague one of how many children they want to have.  I don't.  I don't know if I want to stop at 1,2 ,4, 7, 19???  I have no clue.  Is there a magic number?  Now some may think; what?  another one so soon.  Yes, it did take 2 years to find Jacob so yes another one so soon, because really I have no idea how long the soon might be.  All I know is that I am already, ready to have another child welcomed into our little family. 
Like I did with Jacob I have an idea of what kind of child I am hoping for but I'm leaving it up to God like I did for Jacob and He blessed me with exactly what I hoped and prayed for.  So I'm doing the same this time. 

No Drip Popsicles!

I came across a recipe for no-drip popscicles.  Now with kids this would be a grand idea wouldn't it?  So I made them and as you can see Jacob is wearing it all over his face and shirt but it's not because they dripped; just because he missed his mouth a few times!

Here's the recipe I used enjoy!

2 cups boiling water

1 pkg Jello (I used strawberry)

18 strawberries chopped finely

2/3 cup kool-aid powder mix (I used peach because that was what I had)

Add boiling water to jelly powder; stir 2 minutes until completely dissolved.  Mash berries with drink mix in bowl, stir in jelly.  Pour into your molds or paper cups and freeze!

Growth

Boy have I noticed changes in Jacob in the last week or so.  Tonight as I put him to bed he held out his hands and said "bunny".  A week ago he wouldn't have asked or he would have just held out his hands and I would have had to guess what he wanted.  He's starting to talk so much and put words together. 

He's such a wonder and amazement to me each and every day!

Books are the latest favorite thing.  He is constantly wanting "book"  to be read to him.  It's great, I love reading to him and sometimes I don't even read just let his little mind soak the pages all in.

He's saying "high in the sky" in this picture; it's part of our game, "high in the sky, down on the ground."

Scorned

I have never been the woman that hates all men.  I am also not someone who uses the word "hate" very freely.  I don't like it.  Today though I'm a scorned woman and although I wouldn't say I hate men, I truly dislike the XY type.  Unless they are already in a committed relationship or married, those XY's are okay.  The rest, suck! 
I have had less than an optimal dating life, obviously if I'm still single?!  I have no idea what I do wrong/right when it comes to relationships.  I try dating different men, you know not all the same type, that doesn't work.  I try to go at their pace, at mine, that doesn't work.  I try to be passive, or aggressive, that hasn't worked.  I've tried being me, not me, that hasn't worked.  I know all the women say, it's not you, it's them.  Um yeah I believe half of that, then the other half thinks of the common factor and I am the common factor in all the relationships that have failed.  So part of it has to be me, what frustrates me about it is that I would like someone to honestly tell me what exactly it is! 
I know timing, blah blah blah.  Forever is worth the wait, yeah I came up with that saying, don't need to tell me it.  I know it.  Today though I'm scorned and don't want to hear all the garbage. 
I have noticed one thing about all my friends that are now happily married.  They too were scorned at one point before they met their husbands.  Why is it that it seems that we have to be scorned before we can find the "one"?  Am I thinking that this is now going to happen to me?  I'd like to say no, but secretly I am.  However I'm scorned and don't want any unwed unattached XY's near me except of course my wonderful son.  Who when he awoke this morning came running into my arms and said "morning" with the biggest grin and planted a big ole kiss on his mamma!  Oh and I am a smart enough mom that Jacob had not been really involved in any of the latest dating flops.  He's been at a sitter's or grandma and grandpa's, I would never parade a bunch of men into his life. 
Okay so the scorned.  I know people have said throw away the list.  Well that was gone 10 years ago when I dated a guy who was everything on the list plus the extras and he turned out to be the biggest jerk I've ever dated.  He had all the physical attributes, the good job, was family oriented, was Christian, blah blah blah.  And we all know how that turned out! 
So I threw away the list, next guy had nothing on  the list but one quality, I felt respected when I was with him.  Yep, no winner there either.  And on it goes.  I'm not even getting into the last year or so.  I'm starting to feel like a sex in the city marathon.  If Mr. Big is who I think it is in my life I'm doomed.

Pavlov

While going to university and taking psychology courses I learned that I was a Pavlovian fan.  I believe in rewarding the behaviour that you want and ignore what you don't want.  I've seen how quickly it can work to change a behaviour. 
Over the past few days, well week or so, I've noticed that Jacob has become much more clingy and whiny.  Traits that sometimes are really not that appealing.  I've mentioned it to a few people to no miraculous answers to change this behaviour. 
Well as I was cutting up fruit this morning he started whining again because I wouldn't let him have the knife I was using, rough mom I know!  So he plopped himself down and began to do the whine.  He then moved on from being upset about that to wanting some of berries I was cutting and wouldn't ask for them instead would just hold up his hands and whine.  He can say "berry" so I wouldn't give him any until he said it.  I ignored the whine and just continued to say "berry?".  Well after 3 times he perked up and said "berry, peas?"  So I'm going back to my roots in Pavlov.  So this morning after my "lightbulb" moment I've been using the Pavlov theory; yes there are still moments when he is upset, but I give no reaction and the "whine" time appears to be getting shorter and shorter. 
I'm going to see how this also works for when the little 1 year old is over and he says "mine" all the time when she isn't even near him and not interested in his train that he has a death grip on!  I kind of twigged on to re-using Pavlov with this as well earlier this week but I haven't been dedicated and consistent enough.  You see to begin with when he would say "mine!"  I would give a reaction, usually "she's not even near you, or uh-uh"  something.  Well now I notice he'll say "mine!" then look or be looking at me for a reaction.  Yep the little fart has outsmarted me already. 
So Pavlov it is, Don't let me down!