Personality

Jacob's personality has really began to develop in the last few months.  Here are a few shots to show what a tease he has become.

This was taken at his cousin, Charity's, birthday party.  What fun that was playing in all the blocks and activity centre.



Dancing with Gert, his "favorite friend".

So what if there is still snow on the ground, the sand box is free and so in the sand he will play!

He came into my room with his pjs on his head saying, "I'm Jesus, see jammies on my head."  Now I'm not sure why having jammies on his head equates to being Jesus but I'm pretty sure he was trying to make the cloth like moses wore in Prince of Egypt on his head.

 

Being a space monster at Chris and Marlene's.  He thought that this was great fun!

 Hiding for the camera.

I found you!!

The struggle, the challenge, the unknown

So I'm dating.  Yep he's a wonderful man.  I can remember over the past year slowly I started praying for a mate.  Someone who would be nicer to me before I could be nice to them.  Sounds silly but seriously in the past it always felt like I was doing the work, so I wanted someone to swoop me off my feet, literally even.  A little dream of mine to be physically picked up by a man.  Maybe it's because I'm a bigger girl, but just the thought of a man grabbing me and picking me up gives me butterflies. 
Okay, anyways, so I'm dating.  Did I mention that I'm dating??!  Just kidding.  So if you've followed this blog and my other blog at all you know that I'm a Christian.  Being a Christian by bible aka God standards is that I accept that Jesus came to earth, died for my sins and that I acknowledge that I'm a sinner and he paid the price for me to be able to go to heaven, so I love Jesus essentially.  With that comes certain rules laid out by God and ways to live life.  One is that Christians should not date non-Christians.  Sugar coat it as much as you want, it says it in the bible not to do it.  Then of course it also says Christians are not to be unequally yoked in marriage, aka Christians and non-Christians are not suppose to marry.  So what happens if this does occur?  Well there are going to definitely be differences of opinions because I will believe what God has said in His book and want to live like it says.  I will love God and Jesus more than my husband and children.  I know!  But I will and do.  God loved me enough to sacrifice his only son. 
So now the struggle.  I have Christian friends who tell me that I should missionary date.  This means date as if he were your brother.  Yeah, no.  That is just odd to me and seems incestuous.  That means touch and explore only as much as I would with my brother, again this leads to the ickyness.  Can you imagine dating like this and then on your wedding night you have sex with the man you've been treating like your brother??!!  This totally doesn't fit for me.  So then there's the non-Christian dating.  Date, kissing, sex, move in, get married when you both feel its finally time.   Well this also doesn't fit for me.  I won't live with any guy before I'm married.  This is for a number of reasons, primarily being Jacob but another is that I did live with a guy before marriage once before and when it ended I was homeless.  I have a little one to think of and we can't move in with my parents if this doesn't work out, although I know it's going to. 
So what do I do?  Well I'm going to be a sinner I know.  I know I'm not going to date like a Christian.  I struggle with the advice and what others have said.  I struggle with it because I have yet to come across someone who is giving the Christian dating advice that lived it, or has lived like me.  So people that have so far given me advice or I've heard speak have been in the two categories: 1) grown up Christian and never crossed the boundaries before they married.  2) became a Christian after they were married and then their spouse also became a Christian.  So these two people have never been a non-Christian single and then a single Christian.  I'm waiting to meet a person like me and that person can tell me how to date and I will wholeheartedly listen.  Right now I'm hearing a lot of "wa wa wa".  The only person's advice that I've heard, value and appreciate was my pastor's wife.  She said to me, "if you choose to marry him and he's not a Christian, that's between you and God, however we're going to pray for him and that God just continues to open his heart."  Thank You!!!  This is the best advice and the true advice. 
So I'm dating.  Oh, and this man also has actually picked me up and carried me.  He did it on our 3rd date.  Help me I'm falling!!!   NO don't help me, I want to fall madly in love with this man and never look back. :)

It's just different this time

Okay, I'm going to try and not make this a long post but I'm a woman and tend to go into all the details so I apologize in advance if I go on and on.


About 2-3 months ago a friend of mine told me how his sister and her boyfriend had broken up.  I jokingly asked if he was going to set me up with the boyfriend.  He then in all seriousness said, "yeah I told him you were the perfect girl for him and he's been asking for you phone number ever since." 
So back up 4 years.  I met this man at my friends home 4 or so years ago when he was dating my friends sister.  After I met him I told my friend that the guy was the nicest guy I'd ever met in my life and that if the couple ever ended to "hook me up".  Now I was absolutely joking about the last part.  I wouldn't ever wish hurt via a break up on anyone.  Over the years I've seen the man and his girlfriend together and alone.  I think I've known for a few years that this was a relationship that was doomed though.  She wanted big city life and he loves the farm.  So it was only a matter of time.  Now at the end of it I never thought I would work into the equation at all. 
Well now to present time.  They did break up.  She chose big city and career over love.  My friend, the brother, had told the guy about me and the guy then began pursuing my phone number.  My friend though held him off for about a month in giving him my number.  The friend felt like he was going to be put in an awkward situation because he was supplying the phone number to his sister's ex boyfriend for a new potential girlfriend.  I get it but at the end of the day who cares, she dumped him for her career. 
So guy keeps asking for my number for 3 straight weeks before my friend finally caves and gives it to him.  All along i know about the guy asking for my number.  My biggest concern being that does guy know who's number he is wanting.  Friend tells me he's sure guy knows.  Then one night guy tells friend, I know who she is just give me her number, friend says no you don't, guy: she works for government and her name is Jody, give me her number.  Okay, good sign.  He knows who's number he is pursuing and still wants it.  Finally friend is on the phone with me one day and guy calls him again for the number and friend tells me that's it I'm hanging up from you and giving him your number right now. 2 minutes later guy called!
So we talked for almost an hour and then made arrangements to go out the following Friday.  He wanted to go out that night!  I have no idea why but a few times after friend and I had talked about this I got the feeling that if this worked out it would be good.  One reason is that he's the nicest guy I've ever met, as said before, and that both he and I want the same thing.  Marriage.  At the end of the day we are both at the place where we want to find that person we can wake up to everyday.
So we had our first date, which lead right into the second date, which lead into plans for the following weekend, and also we had the "talk".  He brought it up.  He wants relationship, as do I, we both want to go slow but at the end of the day I think we won't be able to take it slow.  I think that we both 'want' to take it slow because he's protecting his heart and I'm protecting Jacob.  However I'm not sure that our hearts will allow us to take it slow.  Its one of those situations where you just love spending time with the person because you want to know everything about them and you can't get enough of them. 
So I titled this post, it's different this time.  Well it is.  He pursued me.  I've never had a man pursue me.  NEVER!  We got the relationship talk out of the way and agree we both want the same thing.  Again, never happened before.  Last time I was actually in a relationship the man didn't know if he wanted me as a girlfriend, nanny, friend, housekeeper.  Each week he changed his mind.  Then any other guys have not wanted relationships at all.  I am myself around him.  I don't seem to have a sensor or filter of things I shouldn't say or in the past wouldn't have said.  It all comes out.  It's different.  It's just different this time.
Oh and one more difference; it's not a deal breaker but it definately is a big deal, both my brothers really like him.  Now this is a big thing.  My one brother will pretty much accept anyone, he may not like them but he'll accept and put up with them.  My other borther though will not be so nice, he typically is very judgemental and if he doesn't like someone he isn't going to try and pretend he does.  Well both my brothers really like him and think he's a nice guy.  So huge!  It's just different this time.

Life after a three year old

When I signed up for being a mom I knew that everyday wasn't going to be roses.  I've written before of all the changes in Jacob in the past year now here is a post dedicated to how he has changed my life.
My house will forever be in a state of "getting cleaned".
You will always find trucks, cars, trains or food somewhere deep under my couches.
No matter how hard I try I can rarely seem to get anywhere on time anymore.
I no longer spend days eating only cheerios for supper (breakfast maybe, but definitely not supper).
I sit at the table for meals. 
I have a table!
I pray at every meal.
I no longer spend a lot of my time doing nothing, aka tube watching.  I used to have shows that I watched every night of the week, now I can't figure out what I watch because I never seem to have a tv routine, not such a bad thing.
I eat fresh vegetables every day.
My toothpaste no longer lasts nor does my expensive conditioner because twice now he has poured both into the tub while I was busy doing other things.
I always have yogurt in the fridge; never mind that I just have a fridge full of healthy food.
I had to make a choice between my pet and my child.
I actually know what is on the tree house channel and that I don't think Spongebob is so great.
I can't just run to 7-11 at 10pm at night for a pop; that I didn't ever really need in the first place.
I need to watch the blinking sign in church for number 228 now in case I need to leave and pick up a screaming kid from Sunday school.  (thanks to all the workers for putting up with the vocals)
I look forward to movies now just for the popcorn because I haven't gone to an adult movie in ages.
I've learned to shower at night so that my hair is dry in the morning to do because I don't have time to do both in the mornings.
I've learned that you can live on little sleep because toddlers don't always sleep through the night.
I've learned that as much as I look forward to nap and bedtime I look even more forward to when he's awake.
I've learned that you can wash my couch seat cushion covers when Jacob thinks that he should give the dog milk to drink while he has it tied up on the couch. 
I've learned that nothing is ever safe and so it is just always better to be safe than sorry.
I've learned that life just is not the same and it will never ever be that way again.
I've learned that all the time I waited to be a mom has been worth the wait because now I'm a mom forever.

Starting all over again

As of February 8th I could apply to adopt again.  You have to wait one year after placement of a child to wait again.  Now I had done my homework.  I have the Child and Youth Enhancement Policy in my office.  I have it for work purposes because there is a portion on youth transitioning into adult hood and adult services and my office is listed in it as part of the adult services.  So a few months ago I drug out the binder and read the section on adoption.  It said that application could be made again one year after placement of a child. 
So today I contacted my social worker and asked her for the application papers to apply to adopt again.  She did up a package I picked up and as I was filling it out I thought maybe I should give the website a quick peruse, just to see if there were any new children available.  There was a sibling pair; girl and boy ages 6 and 2.  I thought this is a perfect age group if I was going to adopt a sibling pair as my "ideal" child is either older or younger than Jacob so to have one of each would be great!  So I email the social worker.  She responded that even though I already had the package I actually couldn't start the process until September as this is when Jacob became legally mine.  WHATT!!!????  Instantly I was ticked off for a variety of reasons. 
1) What policy manual was she reading because the one I have says one year after placement; not legal.
2) In July I had been told the legal process would be started but it didn't happen until I started questioning it in August and September.  So if I have to wait until then because of someone not actually doing what they said they would ticks me off. 
3) Who is this benefiting?  Kids being kept in the system for longer periods of time is not ideal so why have a year after placement; which is based on someone doing paperwork?!
So I didn't respond at first.  I was ticked and knew better than to say something right then.  Plus I'm very wary of being too much of a pain in the you know what and then getting the label of annoying client.  We all know those people.  However if I have to go down that road I would because it is for the betterment of my potential child and family and I don't care if I have to have that label in the long run.
So I left the office and then returned after lunch.  There was an email from my sw'r.  She said that she double checked with her supervisor and it was indeed a year after placement, not legal and she apologized.  Hallelujah! 
So I have filled out all the papers, made my doctor's appointment and contacted my references to ask them to speak on my behalf about my parenting.  So I'm thinking maybe mid March I'll have everything and a meeting with my social worker to discuss my preferred child and be put back on the wait list!

Busy- and I hate saying that

Have you ever called someone and the first thing they say is "oh I'm so busy"?  I used to hate hearing that.  Now I find myself saying it, I used to think it was an excuse to not keep in touch but I'm now realizing it isn't an excuse, it's reality.
I've realised I am a person that likes to have a lot on my plate.  I don't know if I have adult ADHD or ADD and it doesn't matter because I don't really believe diagnosis give you any more insight into a person either than funding when you need it. 
So things on my plate currently are: mom full time, work full time, course through work for the next 13 months; meetings every two weeks and trips to the city every second month, my last two courses for my degree for the next 6 months, pampered chef; seems to be one party/show a month; and I'm applying to be a marriage commissioner.  Plus of course I'm a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, etc that all needs to be fit in there somewhere.  I have no idea how all of this happened but I do have to admit that I like the pace.  I'm more organized the more I have on my plate.  This past weekend I actually cleaned my house top to bottom, even took down my shower curtains and washed them!  Got all my laundry done and put away all by Saturday night so Sunday and Monday (which was a holiday) were free days to lounge around, go swimming with Jacob, and spend quality time!
Now why am I writing about this; well at Christmas time I was busy with baking, making homemade gifts etc.  The director of our program did baking and gave it to each Public Guardian and my boss brought it in to share with all of us.  Some people were making snide comments about how did she find the time, was she wonder woman.  Our director is a mom to a little girl of 9, she's in the office early, home late, but she does crafts and baking with her daughter on the weekends and when she does make it home on time.  I've been to her house and that week she had finished making mustard pickles so she gave us each a jar.  I am very similar to her.  Last night I got home and made bread for us, on the weekend I was invited for supper somewhere so I quickly made up some brownies.  At Christmas all my co-workers got a tin of nuts and bolts.  You can come to my house at any time and steal a jar of canned peaches that I made this summer.  I find the time.  I was quite offended when they were chiding about our director being wonder woman because I share similar traits to her.  That we care enough to find the time to make and give something home made isn't something to make fun of I don't think.  It isn't what we are giving but it is that the time we took to give.  I value that.  I think I've swayed way off topic, but who cares it's my blog right?!
Anyways I guess the point is that even though I have a lot on my plate I will still make time to take Jacob swimming, read him a story at bedtime, bake bread, and get my housework done!

A year in reflection

February 6th was officially one year since Jacob came home.  I've been thinking about this post for awhile and thinking about what/when I would write.  Today seems like a really good day since we both tried each other's patience all day so a good time to reflect on all the positives instead of dwelling on this one grumpy day.  I even told Jacob he could call me "grumpy diesel" today, one of his trains is named grumpy diesel and the face on the train is exactly how I felt all day.  From the time he woke up he just seemed to be over the top whiny and cried over everything.
Okay, enough negative.
So in the past year we've had so many things happen, bumps along the road and smooth pavement too.  I can't believe the changes in him.  Physical, he's only 4 lbs heavier this year, but 3 inches taller!  I know!!!  In the past week I've had half a dozen people tell me how he has grown and he just seems so grown up.  He does still fit the first pair of jammies I bought him, mostly because when I bought them they were too big.  He's in size 4 and some 5 clothing now, where as before he was in size 2-3,  the boy is going to be taller than me by the time he's 12!
He loves baths now.  Last night it was an hour long one!  This a big change from the crying and screaming of dislike for 25 seconds, because that's as long as baths used to be.  In fact every night he wants one; I'm trying to convince him of having one every second night because he hates having lotion put on and having that many baths dries a person's skin out.  What a change though.
He now loves Gertie.  I remember the day he came home he sat on the couch and just watched the dogs and it took several months for him to warm up to them.  Today he spent the majority of the day playing with "Gert".  He pulls her around on the leash and she just follows, never seeming to get annoyed.  Then he has to snuggle with her at bedtime and she happily jumps up on his bed to go to sleep.  I'm shocked that she still wants to be around him by the end of the day!
He has become quite the little dancer and I know all parents have this idea that their kids are gifted and I'm no different, so he'll be joining something musical soon.  The minute any music is on he stops, listens, and then his little hips get going and his foot taps and pretty soon he's trying to do the worm on the floor, stomping his foot, and dancing around. 
He plays with other kids now.  This is huge.  I can remember the first few times of going to a friends house and he didn't pay attention at all to the other kid.  Now he may not always join in if he isn't interested in what they are doing but he will if they are doing something he likes.  This is a trait that I hope he keeps.  Don't fall into peer pressure, it's okay not to do what everyone else is doing.  I hope he learns this trait from his "momma" still I get people absolutely shocked that I'm single and adopted by myself.  It happened again 3 times this week.  People almost sputter, at the idea, not in a negative way but just shocked that you would consider doing it. 
He's POTTY TRAINED!!!!!  Now this was an almost since August.  He would have occasional accidents, but for the most part would hold it until he was taken to the bathroom.  Then this Friday he said "go pee" and went running to the bathroom and been great every day since! 
He talks a mile a minute.  Seriously, I can't believe that only 4-5 months ago he would only say one or two word sentences.  Now he is constantly chattering away.  He knows the nursery rhymes, Humpty dumpty, cat and the fiddle, twinkle, baa baa black sheep, and on, his favorite these past few days has been I'm a little Tea pot.  I love nursery rhymes and had gotten an book of the old traditional ones and then at speech was told nursery rhymes are the best books to read kids because they are repetitive and have a rhythm.  So we read them several times a day. 
Now for the biggest change.  I'm mom.  This past week I had to be out of town for 3 nights, 4 days, the longest I'd been away from him.  On day 3 he told my parents, "Where mom, need go home."
He knows it and that is awesome and so even though today was a tough day we're a family and I wouldn't change a thing about it.