Sunday, June 12, 2011

You grew in my heart

I know that's such a cliche but last night I used it.  We had gone to my brother's and got back late and so Jacob fell asleep on the drive.  As I carried him into the house I told him how I loved him and that he was mom's big baby boy.  To which he asked, "grew in mom's tummy?"  I didn't know what to say.  I  was caught off guard, I was thinking this conversation would happen later, a different time, a more alert time.  I should know better though and know that life doesn't work just like you plan it.  It's not that I was avoiding this conversation.  It wasn't an option to lie to Jacob about the most important thing of his life.  That I am not his biological mother but I am his mom forever.  I've made no secret about the fact that he's adopted and when I get a shocked look and people say, "he looks so much like you" I smile.  God planned it perfectly I guess, what or who else could take credit? 
So off I carried him to bed and told him that he grew in another mommy's tummy but that he came to live with me and he grew in my heart and I would be his mom forever.  I know that this won't be the last conversation of many and that's okay.  One day I will open up the pictures I have stored away for him and show him the picture of his first mommy.  The one that loved him enough to make sure no harm came to him in birth and for this I'm forever grateful.
So you might be wondering why this came up.  I'm only assuming that his little buddy who he goes to the same sitters her mom is pregnant, a good friend of mine, and I'm sure that there has been lots of talk about Savannah's mom having a baby in her tummy.  So the conversation may come up a lot over the next several months and that's okay.

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