Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Discipline sucks

I've discovered one huge benefit to being a single parent.  You only worry about you being consistent and not two; because seldom are two people on the same page absolutely all of the time.
I've also come to realize what sucks about being a single parent.  I'm always going to be the bad guy.
Today was a blow.  Lately Jacob has been a little bit difficult in stores.   I know most, aka all, kids go through the difficult times in the store.  Today was a rough one though because he got it; I think.  The big sappy puppy dog eyes makes me thinks so, with the quivering lip and tears rolling down his cheeks for added effect.
We were in the store, he looked at the toys as per usual.  Then it was time to leave which went okay until we got to the till.  All of a sudden tears and crying and a bit of an episode.  He has never been that kid that kicks and screams while rolling on the floor; THANK GOODNESS!!!  No, he's just a cryer.  So I bend over and calmly try negotiating.  Wrong I know; but we went through this same thing last week at McDonald's when I refused to buy a toy and so I wanted to try a different approach.  Almost set him up to fail because I needed him to know  I meant business.  He didn't stop crying.  My negotiation tactic was to buy him a kinder surprise at the next store I had to go to.  He didn't stop.  So I paid, walked out, he followed.  Continued to cry for a block and then I stopped at the store, ran in and got what I needed and came out.  He crying asked if I got him a kinder surprise.  I told him no, you didn't stop crying and start listening to me so you didn't get an "egg".

Reaction: Stopped crying and the look of shock, disappointment, surprise, all at once.  The look I knew I'd achieved what I'd wanted.  He was very quiet until we got home.  He asked again and again I explained why no egg.  He came in the house and instantly hid under a blanket.  Out of shame?  Out of anger?  I'm thinking more the shame.  I left him be and then in about 5-7 minutes he came out and said "sorry" in the quietest of voices.  Did I achieve what I wanted?  Yes.  Did I feel like the biggest meanie in the world? Yes.  Sometimes parenting really does suck and is wonderful all at the same time.