What's new????

So I haven't blogged about what is currently going on in my life right now because I wasn't sure where it would lead to.  On February 19th I found out that there was a baby boy that might need a loving forever home.  On February 20th I went and talked to the family member that I knew about this baby.  It turns out that the baby was born last June and is indeed in need of a forever home that is willing to do an open adoption.  So I was in for a decision.  Am I ready to start again; to be a mom to another little one needing a forever family to love him.    
Do I need to even answer???  I've literally been in a battle ever since I found out about the babe.  Not with the family, they are in support of me adopting.  I have been battling a social worker that is lazy and not willing to do her job thoroughly.  Unfortunately for her she has me to deal with and I don't give up and know my rights, the bio families rights, and that little boys rights.  So now I don't want to get into all the details but I did bring attention to the fact that she wasn't doing her job and now she is going to.  She has to research me as a potential option and on April 26th the whole matter will be heard in court and I will find out if I will get to be a mom to another little boy.
So am I scared?  OF COURSE!!!  I'm scared of being a mom to a baby!!!  I've never thought I would actually get to adopt a baby so I've never even asked for one just so that I wouldn't face the disappointment.  Am I scared that I won't be able to handle two boys on my own?  Of course, am I scared about a whole bunch of other things, yep.  However.  I know that God brought me to this place for a reason.  Last year when my relationship ended I remember saying, I just want a mulligan, a do over of this year.  I felt cheated because I had been planning on adopting again, I had been planning on buying a house and then I put all my hope in the relationship and put everything on hold, only for none of it to come true.  Well I kind of think God gave me a mulligan without me even trying.  Here is a baby that came out of nowhere, I'm going to see the realtor on Friday and see what is on the market.  So maybe I am getting that prayer of wanting a mulligan.  If it is; wow!! Thanks GOD!!!