Thursday, June 10, 2010


I have never been the woman that hates all men.  I am also not someone who uses the word "hate" very freely.  I don't like it.  Today though I'm a scorned woman and although I wouldn't say I hate men, I truly dislike the XY type.  Unless they are already in a committed relationship or married, those XY's are okay.  The rest, suck! 
I have had less than an optimal dating life, obviously if I'm still single?!  I have no idea what I do wrong/right when it comes to relationships.  I try dating different men, you know not all the same type, that doesn't work.  I try to go at their pace, at mine, that doesn't work.  I try to be passive, or aggressive, that hasn't worked.  I've tried being me, not me, that hasn't worked.  I know all the women say, it's not you, it's them.  Um yeah I believe half of that, then the other half thinks of the common factor and I am the common factor in all the relationships that have failed.  So part of it has to be me, what frustrates me about it is that I would like someone to honestly tell me what exactly it is! 
I know timing, blah blah blah.  Forever is worth the wait, yeah I came up with that saying, don't need to tell me it.  I know it.  Today though I'm scorned and don't want to hear all the garbage. 
I have noticed one thing about all my friends that are now happily married.  They too were scorned at one point before they met their husbands.  Why is it that it seems that we have to be scorned before we can find the "one"?  Am I thinking that this is now going to happen to me?  I'd like to say no, but secretly I am.  However I'm scorned and don't want any unwed unattached XY's near me except of course my wonderful son.  Who when he awoke this morning came running into my arms and said "morning" with the biggest grin and planted a big ole kiss on his mamma!  Oh and I am a smart enough mom that Jacob had not been really involved in any of the latest dating flops.  He's been at a sitter's or grandma and grandpa's, I would never parade a bunch of men into his life. 
Okay so the scorned.  I know people have said throw away the list.  Well that was gone 10 years ago when I dated a guy who was everything on the list plus the extras and he turned out to be the biggest jerk I've ever dated.  He had all the physical attributes, the good job, was family oriented, was Christian, blah blah blah.  And we all know how that turned out! 
So I threw away the list, next guy had nothing on  the list but one quality, I felt respected when I was with him.  Yep, no winner there either.  And on it goes.  I'm not even getting into the last year or so.  I'm starting to feel like a sex in the city marathon.  If Mr. Big is who I think it is in my life I'm doomed.

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