Holiday

I am going on a holiday!  I haven't really been on that many holidays.  About 7 or so years ago I went to Vegas; then 2 years ago I went to Mexico, and that's about the extent of my holidays.  My boss told me about a holiday her daughter went on.  She went to a spa resort by herself for a weekend and had a really great time.  I looked into it and I decided it was something I wanted to do.  So in early January I'm going to the Kingfisher Spa and Resort in Comox, BC.  I'm looking so forward to it!  I chose there because it's only 3 nights, 4 days.  Affordable in some ways in that I wanted to spend under $1000 and I probably will spend just over that.  I wanted to do something that I could just relax.  If I want to sleep until noon I can.  I thought the time was enough because then I'm not gone for too long from Jacob.  He will stay with my parents.  I've been away for this amount of time before and he did okay.  I picked the time of year because it's somewhat of a birthday present to myself and it is also considered off season so quite a bit cheaper than other times of the year.  For the first time in my life I feel stressed and so I think this will be a good stress reliever.
Stress is a funny thing.  I'm just tired all the time.  I could go to sleep at 8pm, wake up in the morning and still be tired.  This has been my life the last few weeks.  I can't pinpoint any one thing its just a collaboration of things.  I'm trying to weed out some of the stress, slowly, or do things that alleviate my stress.  Tonight Jacob and I had a laughing war.  That is definitely a remedy I recommend.  Here's a picture of him during the war.  I don't know who won but I know Gertie sure got all worked up and into the fun as well.

A few pictures......

 This was Jacob's first day of pre-school.  We're working on smiling for the camera!  This is a work in progress.

Annual picture at our favorite fishing; even though we caught 0 fish there this year!  The spot is still beautiful.

Goofing around!

reverse disability/reverse discrimination

I've been in the human services field for awhile now.  Long enough to know that there is a concept of reverse disability/reverse discrimination.  I probably need to explain what I mean when I use these two terms because I don't think that they are known to most people.  Basically it means that because someone has a disability their treatment is overcompensated to the point that they are treated better than someone who doesn't have a disability.  So to explain further.  Have you ever been hit up to donate so that someone with a disability can go on a trip?  I have; I've never donated.  No one has ever given me a donation so that I could travel.  Or, what about a person with a disability given allowances for rude behaviour?  I've seen that too.  Having a disability does not excuse bad manners; Temple Grandin actually said that!  I heard her with my own ears at a conference one time.  She was the best speaker I had ever listened to.  She basically said that the reason why she is successful in her life is because her mom had the same expectations for her as she did for her other children.  That Temple would have manners, go to school, get a job, and be a contributing member to society.  I completely agree.  If you make excuses for a person with a disability not to have the same expectations you have for yourself you really are discriminating against them and saying, "well your special so we don't expect as much from you."  Really?!  Maybe people don't intend that but when you break it down that is exactly what it is saying.  Now don't get me wrong I know that not everyone is able to have a full time job and live on their own and etc, but they can have the same responsibilities I have to the best of their ability.  One area that I see quite often the ideology of reverse disability is when support people attempt to do "everything".  Do you not believe that they are capable of doing anything?  Just yesterday I met someone who had a less than great relationship with their parents.  The supports wanted me to come in and take this person's legal rights away so that the relationship with the parents would change.  This person knew that they didn't like how the relationship was and they knew what they could do about it but in their own words they said they didn't want to "go down that road".  So then I told them that my rule in life is that you can complain about something for only so long but then you either have to do something about it or stop complaining.  I'm sure the people around the table thought "how could you say that to this poor disabled person".  Well they are a person first and they have responsibilities too and in this case the responsibility is to stand up for yourself or choose to continue to be treated like crap.  Your choice, and me taking away your rights will not fix that.  The people around this person I think are being discriminating to them because they don't think that the person has any responsibility in the situation and so therefore are treating them differently.  This I think is so wrong.  So that's my beef for the week.  Next time I promise to blog about Jacob and about our little family, the original intention of this blog.  But I hope today's reading makes you think, do I treat people differently if they have a disability?

I've wondered how many people look at me and think that I'm very career focused based on where I've been and what I've done.  The truth is actually that I would walk away from my career and all the accomplishments in a heartbeat to be a full time mom/wife.  I do appreciate where I am now don't get me wrong but it isn't where I really want to be; it's where I am.  I find myself at another spot when I have a choice of staying where I am or pursuing a goal and going for the gusto in regards to my career.  I wasn't actually going to even apply for the position.  It is a management position within our department and there are only 5 in the entire province so to hold this position really is quite a feat and I acknowledge that.  I have to say though that if I were to read the ad for this position and then read an ad for the position of a wife and mother I would  much rather apply for the latter position.  Not so right now though.  Funny; this is the first time I've been in a relationship where I've made it blatantly clear that my goal is not to work forever or even for the next 10 years with my significant other right now.  When I discussed applying for this position with him he said, "well do whatever it is you want to do."  To which I responded, "I don't want to be working is what I would like to do but that isn't a choice I have right now so I work because I have to."  So I'm pretty sure he gets the picture that I don't want to be a working mom forever.  Now of course I am going to be negotiable about this factor.  My biggest hesitation of the whole "moving up the ladder" issue really is that you get used to a financial comfort level and, I don't mean to brag here but no matter how I say it is going to come out bad, I make darn good money for a woman in this community.  This has definitely allowed me some level of comfort, as well I've been able to pay some bills down much quicker than I would have had I stayed in other positions.  Lord help those that are reading this because I know I'm rambling and jumping topics.  My jeep is going to be paid of in January and then my aim is for a few things; one buy a quad for Jacob and I, and two pay off my student loans ASAP.  I will then be debt free.  Yes I will save for a down payment on a house but I keep thinking that's a silly thing to do simply because I'm going to get married and he has a house.  NO we are not engaged, but I know we will end up married.  So for me to buy a house and then have to turn around and sell it doesn't make sense.  Plus anything that I really like has been on the market for so long that I would be scared about the re-sale of it in a year or two when I was ready to sell it.  So I guess I need to just put money away anyways for savings for whatever; oh I know, maybe a wedding!  Okay, back to the job.  I did apply and I have an interview Tuesday morning.  I'm not worried and actually I don't even think I will be successful but there may be two positions available.  This is going to be confusing so bare with me.  Whenever there is a management position available they offer 2-6 month secondment positions and then at the end of the year the position goes to open competition and you apply for the job permanently.  SO right now there is one 6 month position available.  I don't think that I have a big chance in getting it, but we'll see.  I do know that I'm a bit bored in my current position and I have been looking for other opportunities and challenges so this may be my answer.  In all honesty I actually hope that I get the second position, not the first.  I'm trying to finish my degree and I'm 2 courses away, currently in one so if I buckled down I could finish by the time I was able to do the position and so I don't think I'd be as stressed.  Then there is also my personal life.  I feel like a juggler sometimes.  I wish we could have 28hr days.  In the fall I'm on the road a lot; every fall it seems like this.  Then I'm doing schoolwork, Jacob has BG club one night a week; I'd like to be part of an adult bible study because I've done it in the past, oh, and the poor man in my life; I told him he's my Saturday night guy so if he's busy on a Saturday night we don't see each other but every few weeks.  Oh how I wish I had a nanny!  Not because I want someone else to parent Jacob but because I would like for him to be in his own home more and my house cleaned!  Because somehow I still need to get laundry done; dishes washed and vacuuming done in the week as well.  Hence the reason I rarely ever blog anymore.  I told a close friend that I would gladly walk away from my career to be a stay at home mom.  He told me that I'd be bored.  To which I said, if I was bored, I'd sit on a board!  You can still be involved and make a difference to the community without working in it.  That's what I'd do.  Aaah, if I could just find that wand to make my life how I would like it to be.  Until then I will work and do the best job I can at it and if that includes continuing to move up the ladder, I'm ready to take the next step.